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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> OK.....stay on your side of the street
Post Info TOPIC: OK.....stay on your side of the street
abbyalana


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OK.....stay on your side of the street
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I'm hearing that a lot and I try. Having to deal with child visitation makes that tricky. For the most part I do try to ignore his behavior...but when your child is upset that's tough. When you get parents and friends calling or stopping you in the store to let you know your kid was at a bar (cafe in my state...) it's tough. For as mad as I get at those times I will say that the rest of the time...I don't think about it or him or generally care so much anymore. If he won't choose his health - I certainly can't do that for him. He can drink himself silly, get a DUI, hang with and date other addicts and it's not my problem. Can't wait for our girl to be old enough for it to really not be a thought in my mind ever...6 years and counting! Or sooner if he keeps it up and she gets sick of it!

I made myself some promises with this divorce...one is no more addicts! I'm continuing therapy and I will make that one promise I keep! In the interim...I will keep trying to stay on my side of the street as much as I can.

-- Edited by abbyalana on Monday 17th of December 2012 09:49:20 PM

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Cathyinaz


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Well all the calling has stopped so I'm guessing he's drinking again.  

But here I go...thinking way to much about it.  

I'm just writing this to keep myself honest and to stay on my side of the street.   It's like I have to answer to someone  ( MIP ).....  smile

It's also helps me to THINK !!! about what I'm doing. 

What's the difference if he's drinking or not.......what can I do about it.  Will it make him stop if I call....if I go over there....IF I IF I IF I.

 

Thanks....I needed that...

Thank you God for giving me MIP.pray.gif



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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
RobinKSC


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I had to work on my obsession over the alcoholic and others, now that I don't do that so much anymore, I am a lot happier. I went to and still attend many face to face meetings, I work some aspect of the program every day. Today, in the morning meeting here in the chat room, it was the do's and don'ts....

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Jerry F


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Cathy thanks for the reminder....again.  I use to what if all the time and I'm sure it drove my sponsor right up the wall just before he told me "If you want to stay balanced (sane) for every what if you say consider a what if not".  He was right...I gave up fortune tellings where it came to my addict/alcoholic wife, sold my crystal ball and just stayed on my side of the street too.  I turned her over to my HP and finally learned how not to take her back...It all worked out in God's and her time.  Keep coming back ((((hugs)))) smile



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Cathyinaz


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Well my what if's have got to stop. Received message from son saying he is proud of his success so far and was with his sponsor most of the night working on his HP within AA. He doesn't believe but I guess his sponsor is giving him the tools to overcome that.

I don't know if its true or not but I know I can do something about me and QUIT the What If's. It only hurts me.....my son doesn't care or even knows I'm worried most of the time. All he knows is his problems right now.

I have that crystal ball on my table but I'm going to put it in my God box for a while until I can quit using it and bring it out when I can just enjoy it for it's beauty. Sorry I can't sell it... :)

I'm human and I make a lot of mistakes but I will continue and move forward one day at a time and let God do the work.

(((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Zimmy


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Good work cathyinaz,

The what if's used to drive me crazy, what i do when they start is i stop and say what if not...like you found out your son then txts you to say he was working with his sponsor. What a whole lot of worries you deposited in the worry bank and the interest at the worry bank is cr%p!!

Surrendering is so hard, and I have to work so hard on it. Only yesterday I realised why i was feeling so poo was because i surrender a little then grab it back. It helped me to search on here for post on surrender, cannot tell you how much it helped.

I even wrote a little card out that says...Dear Simone, I got things today, enjoy your day off. Love God xx Since yesterday everytime I try and take back my will and myu life, I physically throw my hands up and say oops i forgot you got it, and think of something im grateful for, then carry on with doing the next right thing this very moment, cos all god wants for me is to live in this very moment doing the right next thing right now.

Love and support

Simone x

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