The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH is a high functioning alcoholic. He shouldve hit rock bottom when his EXAGF overdosed and he found her. She was the worse of the two of their addictive lives. So it was easier to distract ppl from how sick he was also.
He now holds a very good job, but alcohol (and when he "quits drinking" the subsitute drugs he goes to) ... he's a totally different person than the 9-5 employee.
Is there anyone that knows of someone .. that can be a high fuctioning alcoholic that never gets worse... He makes his family miserable on a reg basis but I wonder if there is any chance he wont get worse, or better. ???
just wanted some opinions
__________________
..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
I personally would think at some point the health of the alcoholic starts to deteriorate, I don't think there is such a thing as not ever getting worse. I would turn the focus on me, go to meetings, get a sponsor, my life got better when I did that....
This is a disease of progression he just hasn't burnt out his body yet however at some point it will show up and he will go further some people have to go a lot further down than others. There is always a trap door at the bottom of anyone's pain. It's why I have to keep the focus on me and understand why I do the things I do and leave the A with his HP. His level of pain and what causes someone to bottom out just happens to be a higher tolerance level than someone else.
There is a great book called Under the Influence and it has a LOT of really good information in it as far as what happens to the body and mind.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I have said before that when I got sober, I was more scared of continuing on exactly the same with my alcoholism than I was with dying....Being alcoholic = suffering and the "functional" part is a farce. It's pretty difficult to quantify suffering. Especially when you are talking about having a busted soul like alcoholics have. Just continuing to be active and stuck in it is bad enough no matter what the level of progression.
My exah is like that but after many, many years...I realized that it's only a matter of time before it gets worse. It is a cycle with him. Alcohol in moderation, then more alcohol, add in pot, then other drugs, then back off or hit rehab, be sober and angry, then start with pot, then alcohol and it continues...been through 3 rehabs & 1 suicide attempt (with him not me) and he's managed to keep his job and avoid DUI's throughout. Right now he's on year 3 of this last upswing and he's starting to lose his mind (gets really crazy thoughts, behavior) and he looks sick and yellow. It's sad. It will catch up. He's been going to his on call service visits drunk so I figure between that and the drinking and driving its bound to catch up. He will choose rehab or not...this time It will be on his own...
I hope i dont offend, why are you asking, if anyone knows someone who is a functioning A and has their disease not got worse? What if they replied yes, they do know someone whose disease didnt progress, what are you looking for, hope that one day he wont get worse and you will be able to deal with him the way he is now? Of course he can get better if he wants it enough, but he can also get worse. It sounds to me like your clutching at straws and hoping that he changes. Put the focus back on you, if he drinks, doesn't drink....what are you going to do?
Sounds like your going through a time of questions trying to work out what way to turn. I hope you find your answers that are right for you. Remember easy does it, and we dont have all the answers. Trust in your HP.
Love and support Simone x
__________________
What a caterpiller calls the end of the world....God calls a butterfly
Not offended... It was just a question, not clutching at straws at all.. It is what it is.. and thats about it.
I have been and am still working on me... I dont ask IF he drinks.. its his business. Im past the point of asking and knowing Im being lied too. I know he doesnt want or think he needs help.
Im reading under the influence and it was so general in the chapter saying this will happen 1,2,3,4 .. and I was curious if 1, 2 happen and then 2-3 could take 20 yrs or so... or if they could stay at #3 (of course until the kill their body from the inside out)
As far as my AH he gets better he gets worse... he's on a merry go round and I choose to get off of it instead of riding with him... It was really just a question... guess it couldve been read more into the question than what it was.
__________________
..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
Those that I've known long enough - have gotten worse after retirement. My aunt and uncle were functioning for 30-40 years and now they are both retired and drunk most of the day now. It's very sad and they are old and we are all concerned but their kids go drink with them daily so...
My ex inlaws were highly functional for years but now in retirement they only stay sober when they want to ride their Harley's. Other than that they are drunk sun up to sun down. Mimosa's for breakfast, wine all day long and then nightcaps. If you call them on the phone after 2pm they won't ever remember speaking to you. Sad.
