The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. This is very hard for me to do. He promised he would clean our bathroom and fold the laundry so I could get all of my schoolwork done. I did leave all of that cleaning for him in hopes that it really would be finished, but here it is getting late and he is still not home...I will just focus on myself and try to get my own things finished. I spent the entire morning cleaning and grocery shopping and driving the kids and their friends all over the earth. Last weekend I did all of the Christmas decorations and had sleepovers with the kids and their friends and managed everything while he spent the entire weekend asleep on the couch....recovering from too much drinking of course.
Anyway, again....thanks for giving me a place to come and read to remind myself not to enter into the sanity when he gets home. I will be cordial and do my best not to react and get angry and cause a scene.
This is so hard....life....but I am also thankful when I remember all the tragedy in the world...my troubles don't seem so bad when I think about the terrible event that just occured in Connecticut. I need to keep things in perspective.
I will have you in my prayers imom that you will find peace tonight and not engage your AH. I have started doing this with my son and find I am so much better off. He is confused right now that I will not argue and just walk away or hang up if he wants to argue. He doesn't know what's up yet but he will learn. Mom is being nice and kind.
It's hard work for me but it might just work. What I was doing didn't work....why keep trying to reason with someone who can't reason right now.
Let go Let God take care of him now.
((( Hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Thanks for your response, Cathy. I say I am going to let go, but as the hours pass and I still haven't seen him, I cannot help but worry. My imagination runs wild and I start thinking of every crazy terrible thing that could be happening. He hasn't responded to a text or phone call and I don't know if he's been arrested or in an accident. I'm sure he's just "enjoying" himself and ignoring me, but I cannot help but be miserably worried. Why do I have to ruin my Saturday night obsessing over him?
Aloha Mom...Keep coming back, listening and trying to practice. I remember being that anxious and afraid I would never get my expectations met by my alcoholic/addict wife also. When I finally learned how to let go and detach I no longer held her responsible for my happiness and sadness and that bothered her alot. She started wondering what happened to me and that was proof and support that I was changing for the better. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
