The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am starting to force the XAH to pick up our child when I am home from work - after 5 to assure she has a sober ride from him. He is now asking why I am making him wait until 5?
What should I say? or Do I not respond as he frequently does to me?
The local police department told me to do this so I can see whether he's been drinking and refuse the visitation if need be. He showed up drunk at her band concert last night and admitted Monday to bringing her to bars with him. He drinks and drives with her ALL the time and it's got to stop.
I'm dealing with the same thing...and have been for a while. What I did is share the facts with him
1. Drinking and driving is against the law.
2. Drinking and driving with children in the car qualifies as child endangerment.
3. Child endangerment can result in loss of custody.
4. It is a parent's responsibility to keep the child from situations of child endangerment, and if one parent lets another parent who is known to be drunk, drive with that child, BOTH parents can lose custody...therefore I have to be present to make the exchange (at 5 for you) so I can ensure my child's safety.
I said...I will NOT risk MY custody of MY children by letting them go with you when I know you have been drinking. It is MY responsibility to keep them safe, and that means keeping them safe from choices you make that endanger them.
My A knows he has to be breathalyzed before he can take them, and if he refuses, he can't have the kids. If he puts up a stink, I will call the cops.
I also kept a journal of what happened. He has been sober for the last 5-8 exchanges, in my case.
What I can't control is what happens once the kids are with him over the weekend...that I leave up to HP. ...and I worry, and pray, ALOT.
have strength...and channel your momma lion energy...
TROs (temporary restraining orders) are a good tool and will work very well on top of that getting a family court judge involved adds higher power...not as high as HP I imagine yet higher. I've written them in the past and attended the family court hearings and here at home the judges are just awesome. Still then the disease is the disease and he will drink when the drink tells him to. Its best if he is alone...my ESH.
