The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Karren, not sure how long you've been in al-anon. I lived with his disease for over 20 years also and by the time I crawled into the rooms of al-anon, I was absolutely ready to leave my alcoholic husband too. Once I, myself, came out of denial, I could only see ONE solution and believed I had to act NOW.
The suggestion they gave me was to "wait." that unless I was in physical danger, they told me to work the program for at least 6 months, to work the steps with a sponsor, make as many meetings in a week as I could, and to read our literature on a daily basis.
That is the suggestion. because after I fell into the arms of face to face fellowship to receive the gift of unconditional love, I had a new strength. when he decided to move out a year later, I was okay because I had a fellowship that was there for me, I had new friends and even "strangers" who offered their homes to me. Higher power always provides. My experience is, it's my job to reach out and ask for help (((hugs)))
-- Edited by glad lee on Wednesday 12th of December 2012 01:52:16 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Day three of him not talking to me after the insane random blow up Sunday night. He did come home last night with a six pack and went into the basement, heard him on the phone. 7:30 came up and got in his car and left. Went to a co workers. He never does this. Came in at 11:30 then called into work this morning and went in late. Things are deteriating very quickly, like he just has gave up all together. I think I have, which means my special needs daughter and myself will be living in a womans shelter come Christmas. This is the only way I have found in this one horse town to get any help, including legal aid for divorce, alimony or child support. I did try a year ago when I was leaving before he got on Prozac which helped until now. Anyway, a year ago legal aid turned me down, I need to be out of the house first. No family.........so a shelter is the only way to get what I need to get on my feet. If it was just me and not my daughter I would not be so sick over all this.
Other thing is if he starts acting like an idiot I could have him removed. Hate to do that though. I just hate all this. I just want to lay down, cover my head and drift off into a deep sleep and wake. I have seriously have been trying to leave or fantasy about it for 22 years. It just seems impossible. I can not work, I need to take care of our daughter. Ugh! Guess it is time to bite the bullet and just do it so I can live the next half of my life in some peace.
Change is hard. When you know it's time and decide to make that decision - always think of it as temporary. Realize there is a goal to reach whatever you set and that it will be hard for a time. Keep that thought close, build a support system and new friends. You get whatever help you need however you need to do it and hold your head high. I will pray for you and your daughter.
Please check into programs in your area for disabled folks there is lots out there and it would be beneficial for her too. You really might have more options than you think you do. Even in my one horse town there is a great program for disabled folks. They even have Easter Seals.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Had an hour long talk last evening with my husband. He feels I talk down to him like I am better than him, could be that I do lately due to the way I had been feeling toward him for the last few months. Treat him like I am his mother, correcting him. Guess I was trying to change him and correct him. Now I know it is partly the disease talking and it was me to a point. My end of things I will change.
Peace in the house now, will let me work on me. I will attend the one meeting in this area on Tue. nights at 8PM, even though I am going to have to allow him it is for something else. Sure I should be truthful and I will eventually but for now a little white lie is going to have to be placed so I can get there.
Want to start my own business and get myself financially stable. Just not sure what I will be doing quite yet. This way my daughter could be with me still. We do not have an Easter Seals or anything here, need a waiver for any services and the waiting list is from birth and since we moved here five years ago she is way way down there. Behind the times here. Thanks for all your support, appreciated.
