My kids have made comments too based on misinformation from him, it's REALLY HARD to not get hooked by it. my sponsor once asked me how I would feel getting dragged into my parents drama, each one looking for support because of what they need to get out of it. It's flat-out selfish to even put kids into that position.

Do I wanna be right or do I wanna be happy? do the kids even need to know, is it right to make it their business? I have had to make amends to my kids, dragging them into our divorce. I can't control what my ex is doing, but they can all have their opinions of me, I don't have to get emotionally hooked by the lies anymore. I don't want the disease triggering mine anymore.

I have my 14 year old daughter write out checks for me then I sign them, she mails them with my check book from time to time so she gets what it takes to run a household and because I am crazy busy with school work and them. She actually does very well with it and asks me sometimes how I make enough to cover it all and I just tell her some of it is back piling until I am out of school then I will take care of it and be able to afford it and not to worry about it. I think it has helped her to be more responsible, but I do worry that she thinks I can't afford some things for her, but I let her know that it is my job to handle that aspect of it. My sponsor told me once when I asked if I give her too much responsibilty that her and her siblings grew up making money as teenagers at jobs to help support their family and it was a great thing for her to be able to do. I think kids these days with all the technological devices and games have lost some of the benefits of old. I am trying to keep it balanced. When it comes to their dad and the lack of payment that comes in I don't pinpoint it, but I do say that I hold the majority of the responsibility, but wouldn't have it any other way, because it gives me my children full time. My oldest knows she has chores and babysitting her sister 2 nights a week and some weekends is a part of what I need to run the house and she gets in return very much from me. We have talked it out and she thought it was a fair trade off. Have you thought of giving him something to do that could help him better understand your side of the money factor around the house without it being an arguement and might better able help him later on his own. I know the teen years can be horrendous my daughter now has a bf and its all new to me. Sending you love and support on your journey!