The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love the share and applaud you! New behaviors feel good and that is why we keep choosing them and how we ultimately change. For sure, we may fall back into the old ways, it will serve as a reminder of how it FEELS to do that, did my choice bring me more peace or more stress? It also serves as a reminder that if I keep doing what I have always done, I will keep getting what I have always gotten, how well did that work for me?
You are obviously understanding your powerlessness, that it doesn't even matter if you knew what she did while you were away. What mattered most to you last night was your serenity, that is the choice you made, to surrender. and I am smiling. It feels good to turn my will and my life over to the care of a Higher power. You're going to be okay, no matter what.
-- Edited by glad lee on Thursday 6th of December 2012 05:15:43 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Just wanted to share my experience last night. I had to work an extra shift at work (scheduled). While working, I thought to myself that the wife was probably at home drinking wine since I was not there.
End to this story is this: When I got home she was in bed. I walked in the kitchen to get something to drink. Yes, it was a conscious effort but I made a point to not even look over on the section of the counter to see if there was a wine bottle where she normally puts them. I went upstairs and went to bed and as I was walking up the stairs there was no nagging feeling that I hadn't looked or didn't know. Yes, it was one night and yes it was only one incident. Maybe just a small victory to me but I gotta say today as I reflect back on that I feel like it was a big victory.
I have to work an extra shift again tonight. Hoping for a repeat performance... by me. I realize that I may have relapses into old habits in the future, but the fact that I was able to one time do this makes me realize that I can do this. I share this because while my experiences and wife's alcohol problem may not be as severe as others, It is progress that I have made and others can too. Not so long ago with her being upstairs asleep, this was my opportunity to do a search without her seeing me and I would've done that rationalizing to myself, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. But isn't that the same ideology the alcoholic uses when they drink in secret from us?
Hope everyone has a great day and remember to do something for yourself today for FUN and enjoyment.
Doesn't it make you feel good. I had that same kind of victory yesterday. HUGH for us so never think it might be small. Makes me so happy for you and me both....
Lets keep up the good work on our program and HP will continue to bring us peace.....however small or HUGH it might be for us.
(((( HUGS )))) and have a great day yourself Cathy
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I think that's huge! All we can do is take steps and keep moving forward and try. You did all that and succeeded! That drive to "check" is huge, I really commend you on that.
Thats a Hugie for me too!! Inventory it and you can see all of the time you have to build on love and trust, rather than on fear. Keep it coming and keep coming back. (((hugs)))
Great job with your program, and congratulations! Two years ago I would scour the trash and all the "hiding places" to figure out exactly how much my AH was drinking, and it caused me more angst than anything else. This program really does work miracles!
