broken boundaries - Al-Anon Family Group

sweeetr · Senior Member

broken boundaries

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

((Dear Sweetr)))

Alcoholism is a deadful diseasse over which we are powerless. Please check out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend

Meetings can be found by By going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

If you are unable to attend face to face meetings please try our on line meetings here and the open chat. We who live with this disease become isolated and lost . We need to connect with others who have traveled this road and have found an answer. You are not alone

We cannot do this alone.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Sweeetr; I hear your frustration and anger and confusion...that's all normal and I read your BIO and you have the 3Cs on it. Those are just one of the tools and the face to face grous are a larger one. That compulsive addicted human being...that alcoholic child of God isn't able at this time to sever the relationship with alcohol. He's sick like someone with diabetes who looks normal on the outside yet is being affected on the inside. Diabetics also break the rules and pay the consequences yet we are talking about your alcoholic who most likely will need a painful bottom as an experience to cause him to go get help at a rehap or the face to face meetings of AA or the like. Your detachment is one of his bottoms. Alcoholics don't like things to change also while they are drinking...they like everything to be like they want it and don't understand that the more often they drink life has to change for the worse for them and everyone they come into contact with; friends and associates and family.

Our face to face meetings almost everywhere have a literature table with great books for daily reading and such. Please find a meeting you can call home if you have not already done so. Keep coming back. (((((hugs))))) smile

hdftby100 · Senior Member

Did you find the bottles because you were looking? If so, stop looking. It will drive you CRAZY. Trust me, I have been there. I am doing better at this but still have my moments. Live just for today. You don't have to decide anything today. Keep telling yourself the 3 Cs. You can't control or cure it seems like is what you are struggling with. Say it enough to yourself and it will start to stick (that's what i do.) The detachment sometimes may take a while. I get thru it sometimes by visualizing that it is water. Regardless of what my wife is drinking, if I don't like how she is acting and what she is saying I go into another room or do something else. If it doesn't bother me how she is acting and what she is doing I stay, regardless of what she is drinking. That is her problem and business, I worry about MY business. I know, easier said then done. Even sometimes this is the case with me.

If you have said something to him about his drinking (it should be done when he is sober) that is concerns you, then don't do it again. Once you said your concerns (and don't tell them what they need to do to solve their problem, just that it concerns you and why) leave it alone. More than once is nagging. Good luck and keep coming back.

sweeetr · Senior Member

I wasn't digging. I was gettin Christmas deco out I have tried replying three times and it won't go thru. He said he's not an alcoholic so guess he's back to square one excuses. The more I detach the worse he gets

sweeetr · Senior Member

There are no face to face meetings within a two hour radius of my home. There is AA but that's all

Tracy · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome,

glad you found us.

If you can not get to a meeting come on here as much as you can, we have online meetings to. AA meetings are sometimes open I have learnt alot fom them howeevr Al anon is for our recovery.

Maybe you could find out if people on here are willing to give out phone numbers who live in your country. There is also lots and lots of al anon literature that really helps.

keep coming back hugs tracy xxx

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs,

If there are no alanon meetings in your area then I would attend the open AA meetings. There are limited meetings in my area so I do suppliment with the AA. Calling my STBAX an alcoholic or making him realize he is .. isn't my job that's their own def of themselves. I know what he is, .. I think on some level he does too however whatever label it is quibbling with him about it isn't going to make him see the light. The only way to stop the insanity is to stop participating in it. He's going to drink or not, what are you going to do?

Where I have to put the focus is on myself it's the only thing I can change in the situation. I'm glad you are here and I hope you will keep coming back.

Hugs P :)

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.