The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sorry I have been gone for so long. Not sure if Iwill be spending too much future time on the boards.
As some of you may remember me, I went away on a holiday to the UK/Europe for 5 weeks. It went well (we will just forget Amsterdam for amoment).
We got back to Australia and my parents, who flew up to our neck of the woods (well.. the tropics), to look after our house and animals, were still here for a week. We went back to work in that week as we had to pay off the holiday.
My parents left on the Friday and by the Tuesday, my husband was off work wtih severe abdominal pain.
To cut an extremely long story short... he was in hospital for three weeks. Two surgery's later, he is home with a colostomy bag post a sigmoid section being taken due to severe infection.
It was a hellish month. Hospital stuff ups, lack of information, fear on both our parts and he was in severe pain for several weeks. It was terrible.
Now he is home and recovering very well. Hopefully the bowel can be reduced and put back together in a number of months. In the mean time, he is weak and unable to work really. This means, apart from all other costs, we can't pay off the holiday, live on my income, and still have expenses that have to be paid out.
I am very scared. He is craving again. He is craving alcohol and pot. He has had a few drinks. He is bordering on depression (yes I have got him a counselling appointment) and he is just plain bored all day every day. I am so scared he will go back to smoking.
I am trying my best to put all of the program helps into play. "Let go and let HP", This too shall pass, what will I do. I am trying to understand why this sort of stuff happens???
Sending lots of love and support to you both. Come back here for support as you need it. Hugs p ;)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
One day at a time. For me, I get freaked out when I look at the big picture...and start obsessing about the what ifs...and crossing bridges before I need to...then I wonder if I create the very things I want to avoid through self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's hard for me to stay out of my obsessing head, but I try to focus on the present...and the next right thing I need to do. That's what helps me through tough times....ODAT.
I'm so sorry to hear these things. And I understand the fear. Your recovery is really being put to the test. The way I see it is, when the challenges get harder, we need more support. The regular amount of support is probably not really enough to carry the load you'll be carrying until things stabilize. Like pulling an extra load, you need more horsepower. I can't remember if you have a local meeting? A meeting and a sponsor might be a great support. And of course we're here. And all the traditional sayings about "Put on your own oxygen mask first" apply. I know you have a lot on your hands but I hope you can make time to cultivate your own support system, because that's so important for you and for him. I guess the Al-Anon saying that would apply is "He's going to do what he's going to do (drink, smoke) -- what are you going to do?"
These are challenging times! Time to double up on recovery and support. Hugs!
