The material presented
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Well I had my son over for Thanksgiving and he was sober. Little shaky but OK. We had a great time together and spend two days talking about everything and anything but him getting well. He helped me with dinner and it was so nice. I had to pick him up and take him home afterwards. While at his place I couldn't stand the mess so I spent a few hours helping him clean. With all that happened this Thanksgiving I pray he doesn't think I will enable him again....but maybe I did. I enjoyed it but he will know soon enough I'm not going back to my old ways of enabling him. He is now at the point that he is going to have to pawn or sell stuff to live....that's if he wants a roof over his head. His car is his pride and joy and one thing I did say.... " you should sell your car" He didn't like. He has one more week to pay the rent or he is on the streets. It's sad because I have so much to give but he won't get help for his sickness. He thinks he can do it on his own. 6 dollars to his name and soon to live in his car....what a shame.
Just thinking and sharing... thank you all for your help and love you give.
Cathy
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
All good baby steps Cathy - for both him and for you.....
His recovery won't happen overnight, and neither will yours - sounds like you are (both) taking positive steps, and at this early juncture, I can hear my wise old sponsor reminding me - "all you really need to do is place one foot in front of the other, and breathe"
You're doing well - so nice to see...
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
((((Cathy))))...I can just rely on my old thoughts and feelings to understand what you were going thru with this. Being around the alcoholic and addict and having hope and trying to give it at the same time was sooo difficult because the disease was there also. I had to learn how to have my Higher Power (than the disease) there too. It sounds like you were doing that also...God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Keep your son turned over. Thanks for the share. (((((hugs)))))
I was in an AA meeting this morning and we were all sharing how we basically all reached the point of people more or less saying "You can be homeless or go to treatment/AA" or "You can die or go to AA"....(along those lines... Everyone laughed when the old default response identified was "I can handle it. I choose to risk death and homelessness rather than accept help."
Alcoholics and addicts accept enabling but we are so backasswards about just accepting help to change.
Thanks so much for all the support. It's so nice to be able to get feedback and thoughts from you all. :)
My son just text me saying his battery is dead in his car but can't buy a new one. I just know he thinks I will buy him one....that's what I would do in a heartbeat in the past. He is going to have to figure it out all by himself. Stay strong CATHY.
((((( HUGS )))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Sounds like a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. Nice that you could enjoy it and make some positive memories with your son. Good awareness about the difference between just helping him clean his place and helping him clean his side of the street. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Yep, stay strong Cathy. But I'm glad you were able to have a loving time with your son.
My A son did join the family reunion - a short stay but long enough to reconnect with his cousins and get lots of hugs. He also made appearances at a couple other dinners that he'd been invited to. On Fri one of the out-of-town nephews stopped by & the guys spent 6 hrs talking & laughing about their escapades on heavy equipment - both highly skilled operators. Now I remember what ''old times'' were like.
The demon alcohol did not make an appearance and it was a wonderful & blessed day here in Phx :-}
