The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Please check out alanon meetings and attend. The support and understanding received at these meetings helped me to deal with the pain and difficulities caused by this disease.
I definately have called 911 at the first sign of a suicide attempt.
You are not alone.
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 21st of November 2012 10:08:48 AM
It's a while since I last posted about the abuse and rages I get from my alcoholic partner. I took to heart the advice I was given. The abuse continues for me. If I walk away I'm followed so it can continue. If I don't react and keep quiet it gets louder. Yesterday I went for a walk, came back and couldn't find him. He had locked himself in the garage with a noose attached to the rafters. I talked him out of there but I feel so tired and mentally battered. I don know if he is crying for help or he would do this. He is seeing a doctor tomorrow for a general health check up. I haven't got the strength to leave, I'm frightened he might 'do something'.
Cherubhmm, get some help fast! I have been married to an A who continually threatened suicide and 3 months ago actually attempted to take his life, serious stuff. As cold as it sounds the constant threat of suicide is, in my opinion, another form of abuse. He may be crying for help AND will actually eventually take serious action to follow thru with his threats. If you don't have a therapist, talk to his doctor if you feel you can. It is a very lonely burden to bear alone, I know, I've been there. Once my AH actually attempted to take his life he did it in a very public way, now everyone knows. My point is you can only cover up this behavior for so long, it will get worse if that is his tendancy. Sounds like your partner also abuses you thru rage episodes, again, been there, mine did this as well. It was a visious cycle. Please please get help for yourself, talk to someone, anyone you can trust. While we all pray our loved ones won't try to take their lives, at the end of the day you can't watch him 24/7, if he wants to do it he will find a way. You need to take care of YOU. Sending you much love and support. TS
I have also been at the point in a past relationship. I had to have my then partner committed. He is a grown man and not your responsibility. It sounds to me like you are allowing him to hold you hostage and that is exactly what alcoholics do in relationships.
Sounds harsh, but after my ex threatened to kill himself and such for the billionth time and after years of seeing the same thing over and over again, I almost didn't care if he did commit suicide. It was his problem. His life....not mine. He needed to find support and guidance from his HP.
Years later, he is still alive and kicking. He didn't need me to keep him alive. Truth be told, I think he was doing worse with me around. Leaving him was good for him (but even better for me).
Oh my goodness. Brought to earth with a bump. I have shed so many tears and felt so much heartache but I've been believing I could endure and help. It isn't the first time he's threatened to do something stupid. When he comes around in the morning he's apologetic. Of course it's my fault..I drive him to it. I know that's not true. I recognise that he is in a depression and that he feels his alcoholism is a ball and chain. Yesterday, in a safe place, a coffee shop, I chatted in a round about way about the 'illness' of alcoholism. He said he was tired of it. He was sorry. I said I found it hard to deal with and found the need to confide with this group. That apparently was ok. He had a doctors general check up today..first one in years. Naively, I thought the nurse would be helpful. I was proud that he went in and owned up about his problem..the drink..not depression. She said well just try and cut down. No other support. His health apparently is good, blood pressure a little high. When we got home we sat down and chatted. He crys a lot when sober too. He admitted that a year ago he was drinking 18 pints a day. I know, except on very stressful days, he has cut that down considerably. He has had four and half pints this evening...it will be more on days off work. He has a weekend pattern. We discussed units of alcohol and how well he has done. I know I'm no doctor and I I know the problem will always exist, I just hope I'm dealing with it in the right way. I don't want to be patronising to him and I don't want to be accepting of the bad or wild behaviour. I have no support other than here. I'm isolated. I can't get to groups. I feel so sad some days. I lost my mum last year and I have no immediate family who can support. I know I'm depressed, I have the coping mechanisms to deal with that. Curiously I did think if I hadn't found him and what he was upto..would he have done it, is it a further cry for help??
