The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Growing up in an alcoholic home, and having gone through living with an alcoholic father, you begin to think that youve become good at reading patterns, especially when it comes to drinking patterns.
Last night I was out for a friends birthday. We attended a local hockey game, then went for dinner and drinks. The place we went to also had a bowling alley attached to it, so we played a few frames. Everything was great. Around 10 oclock we decided we wanted to change things up.
Most of the people in our group live outside the city so one person tried to rally everyone that we go back to our home base, or his home base I should say. The logic that was used was that most people had bought return train tickets so they had to leave at that moment even though there was another 2-3 hours before the last train. It was also karaoke night at a local establishment.
Since Dave moved to where he now lives, he has been frequenting this establishment. He is there easily about 2-3 nights a week at a minimum. He has befriended the owners, the karaoke host, the open mike night host, you name it. Because of this and the amount of money he spends, he will get the odd freebie. Its almost as though hes developed a sort of emotional attachment to this place and to the owners. It is a comfort zone and not in a very healthy way. The conviction that Dave had in having to go there and convincing us to follow suit was astounding and the majority fell for it hook, line and sinker. He is very good at manipulating. Ironically, (or is it) his a salesman by profession.
I have been to this establishment before. However, this time I saw things much differently. It all started once we were all rushing to get back when we were having a great time, to go somewhere that this person is always at. We got there and walked in to hear someone singing a horrible rendition of the latest one hit wonder gangnam style followed by staff after staff horribly belting 80s songs and all the other typical karaoke staples (Meat Loaf, Frank Sinatra, kid rock and Cheryl Crow). It was rather busy and the fact that about 10 of us came in made it more crowded. Every so often the door to the patio would open sending in a gust of cold air along with all the cigarette smoke. The place was dark, filled with neon beer signs and local sports team banners. The place is labelled as a restaurant but, a restaurant it is not. It is a bar. A full-fledged bar. A place where drunks go to get drunk. Period. It is dark, it is dingy, it is not a classy place and it is the same people ALL the time.
I had ordered food and I remember as I was finishing my wings I looked along the bar table that I was standing at. A bunch of guys, including Dave, sitting back beer clenched. It was only 11:30 but it was clear they had intentions of staying later. I left. I had enough, I was bored out of my mind.
Since Al-Anon I have been able to see things way more clearly.
I can't remember the last time I went to a bar to have fun...never did have fun in a bar...ever I think. Hmmm thanks for the share cause it will extend the time inbetween the next bar visit for me.
I live in an old gold mining district and there was a pub on every corner.
Drinking and socialising was supposed to be a fun thing, a party thing.
I think it is for some people, maybe a lot of people. For me, as a kid I
observed with big wide eyes and concluded that they were drinking coloured
and flavoured poison- because of what drinking turned people into- at least in my world.
I still have trouble having fun. I arrived at work this morning. Since work is on a mountain side overlooking a large hidden valley I had a natural amphitheatre and sang my favourite song lowd, opera style. Learning to have fun and to wind up with the right people takes a little time imo. This weekend we took a train trip up our eastern coast and went to a Victorian fete. Daughters, their hubbys and grandkids came along... time for fun, at last...
There are some clubs that I might attend with friends but a bar where people toss them back and act annoying...No. I have pretty much the same reaction.
