Does anyone live in Louisiana? - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Does anyone live in Louisiana?

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

Debilyn, I gather from this that you are thinking of moving to Louisiana. I guess the climate has its challenges, but I would think that the weather is not the most important thing in contemplating a big step. My pattern was always to consider myself "in a relationship" from practically the time the person first said Hello to me. Even when you have known the person well for years and years and years, that's not the same as being their one and only. My therapist told me, "Slow and steady," and many times I paid the price in heartache for not following those directions.

It seems to me that if you take it slow and steady, you will have plenty of time to figure out how the climate affects your health and your hair, before making any bigger decisions.

My experiences of long-distance relationships have not been that good, myself. That distance and then those intense meeting times are like crack cocaine for those who like to have intensity in our relationships. We get so focused on "When can we next meet again?" that we forget to ask ourselves, "How is this going? Am I seeing the issues that always come up when two people get closer?" Because it's like you're always on a honeymoon, for a long time. You don't really get to know each other in the day-to-day stuff that real relationships deal with. Eventually, of course, it comes out, but meanwhile, in my experience, I had concocted a whole big fantasy scenario based on the dreaminess of the occasional visits.

I wish I hadn't made any big decisions for at least a year of being close, probably longer. Unfortunately my big decisions (and my big hopes) were made early on. The getting out was very painful.

Take care of yourself.

Temple · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Debilyn,
I think it would depend on what latitude in LA.
I lived in Houston, TX for 10 years and was pretty much housebound for 5 months of the year, except for being in the pool. A pool is a lifesaver. We had mosquito traps there--the big, expensive ones and high wooden fences around the front and back yards, and without them the mosquito traps wouldn't have done much good. You can look it up on Google--anything that far south in LA would probably feel as if you were living in a swamp. Houston certainly did; I couldn't believe people had built a city there. I had to go to the grocery store before 8 am during those five months. I knew every shaded place to park a car within a 4 mile radius. It didn't cool down after the sun went down.

As a child, I lived for two years across the Sabine River from LA, in Orange, Texas. I remember heat and that there was a shower every afternoon and that my long hair (pre-hair dryers) was never dry underneath in the back. I was sick very frequently when we lived there--lots of bronchitis and pneumonia=-got better when we moved farther north.

Admittedly, I am heat sensitive. The humidity makes it so much worse.
Nobody did much to their hair in Houston, because it didn't matter after you'd stepped outside.

Since you have time to decide, take trips to LA in the summer before you up and go, would be my suggestion.

wp · ~*Service Worker*~

Debilyn, I wouldn't want to be in any way responsible for your decision! So, that said, may I suggest that you try it first before putting down roots? I can tell you that for me moving from Ohio to Florida was a huge supershock; however, I had little time to really seriously consider. I would never do it that way again, but put my toes in first, then my ankles, then my knees....etc.....lol.

Lotsa luck ! The deep south has many attributes, and... there is always a tradeoff. Hot summers make me crazy because it's the opposite of up north....being cooped up inside in summer I never expect to like. There are many cultural differences as well, which actually are easier to adapt to than the weather in my humble opinion.

pw

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Believe me Mattie I do not rush. IF I do this I am looking at a year at least from now. Could be visiting oh nine months from now. I will not make something into something. it will be or it won't.

Relationships can be good meeting this way or not. Same as meeting in any other medium. I am happy just to be able to meet. Having an intimate friend is wonderful too.

I am no kid, almost sixty now. I am not the type to expect anything. Just want it to be what it is. Would love to see La. anyway.

Also Mattie when i married my ex Ah. I had known him all my life,we had a son. We had been estranged for at least ten years. Took him two years to get me to marry him.

I am no ez lady. Its more, a question of am I capable of loving again. Not into the frenzy stuff at all.that is lust. I don't believe in sex before marriage. NOT at all. I want to focus on what you said about thinking ok how is this going. I like that, thank you.

by the way that is just what he said about hair and makeup.I don't care at all. I don't wear much makeup and my hair has gone curly in my old age,I quite like it. lol freaked me out at first though! I love how you make me think and remember as it was like that with my first.

You said honeymoon. Its funny becuz all I can think about is him helping me catch an armadillo, seeing gators and snakes and toads! lol

I have this thought of getting there at night or him here first. It has to be dark. So we talk in the dark so I can associate his voice with him. seriously. This is a totally strange way to meet someone. I am thinking fun, and showen him stuff here and him when I go there. I have no idea if we will be attracted to each other that way. Just does not matter. It will be what it is.

But I am human and I need the reminders you give.

Temple, mosquito traps, how interesting. yes I agree more than one trip for sure. Also someone suggested a home there when it is tolerable, and another home here. That interests me too.

Who knows it may all not happen.But I like to research anything i do. part of the fun to me.

wp, cultural differences sounds cool too. I never go anywhere. not into travel hate flying. So I am sure you are so right I will see some major differences. oh I am stubborn, don't you worry about influenceing me. I mainly need to hear how people do it.

If he was coming here in cold winter, I would say wear some carhart insulated overalls with a down jacket. AND jeans, and wool sweaters. that sort of thing. He gets cold I mean really cold at 61'. I have my doors open in the early fifties!

You guys know i am a JW so I want so much to do this right. I want hp to be number one. he has been part of this the whole time.i will not mess it up.

thank you all!

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