The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just thought I'd share something positive that has happened this past week. I got out of the way of my A brother, I didn't budge, I didn't enable him. I gave him love and detatched as best I could these past 4 months. He has been homeless and has called me numerous times asking for help. During those times I cam on here and went to alanon and I learned what to do and got great support. I told him "I love you, I believe in you, and I know you will do what is right for you." When he asked for a place to stay I said, "sorry that won't work for me or I'm focusing on my recovery." This was so hard. I couldn't have done this without alanon and you all on here. A week ago my brother chose to call his sponser, got a ride to a detox center, and then after that, he checked into a one year rehab facility his sponsor recommended for him. I am praying for him everyday as I always do, and I have faith he can recover. I do know that alanon has helped me to do my part to detach and focus on me which helps me recover and is the only thing I can do for my brother. I'm just trying to work the steps and do my best. There are hard days and good days. Thank you all for your loving support and kind words that have gotten me through these hard times. I know that no matter what happens in the future, I will be okay and I have the support I need to work on me.
I will keep both you and your brother in my prayers! Congrats on working a very strong program even when it was the hardest thing you had to do.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
No is such a small word yet so difficult for us to say to our family members who we see suffering. To finally put ourselves and recovery first before others is such progress. If your brother embraces his own recovery he'll become healthfully selfish about his sobriety and be mindful of people places and things that could compromise it. Good luck to both of you on your recovery journeys. Thanks for sharing your good news. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
That is an awesome post, and inspired me to respond by saying a big "way to go", and here's hoping that he continues towards his sobriety...
Your post is a GREAT summary about what the "Getting Them Sober" books talk about....
I get asked all the time about the title of those books - as in - if the Three C's are true (which they of course ARE), then how can a book be entitled "Getting Them Sober"???
The reality is that the Three C's are indeed our truth, and we cannot "change" our A's, per se.... However, there are things we CAN do, and the loving detachment you showed your brother definitely played a hand in making the path to allow him to find his sobriety....
I applaud you for your part thus far, and it certainly doesn't end here - not his recovery, nor yours...
Keep coming back
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I am so glad you have stuck it out in al anon. It takes courage, commitment and self preservation to do that. You are a really good symbol of what this program can do for someone in a very very difficult situation.
