The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel stronger since I am connected with you guys and my therapist again-he is a CASAC & that helps very much as he gets my spouse. Now every so often my spouse goes out with a couple and she always drinks and lies. I feel like I can handle it better for the next time. I usually get fuming mad, confront her about her lies, and hate these people. I now expect her to repeat this behavior and I don't see why I have to get twisted in a knot. She's going to do it. Let it be. Am I delusional or could I really cope? Lyne
Sounds like the first step to detaching, you are accepting things as they are instead of trying to change them. The next thing in time might be setting a boundary. One step at a time and you will find peace as you detach from needing her to be/do something she can't. Sounds like good progress to me!!
If I keep doing what I have always done, I will keep getting what I have always gotten, I love that Al-anon slogan and have learned to accept it so much sooner than when I first came to this program. Sounds like you are changing the things you can and learning to use your tools. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I loathed and felt envious of all the ex A's family and his constant round of friends he drank and used with. I felt that they were doing things that absolutely undermined our "relationship". I tried detaching by not socializing with them. I tried detaching by not being around them. I tried detaching by stopping drinking with the ex A. That all helped. But eventually when I got really serious about a program I stopped arguing and I started working on myself. Then and only then did I stop taking their inventory and focus on the next right thing for me. None of that happened overnight.
