The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I looked at my husband after watching the movie flight last night - and I said "The powerlessness? If you would have told me I was losing my kids and my family while I was drinking, I would not have been able to stop even if I wanted to. With out help, I would have so badly not wanted to drink again, but I would have. The disease would have taken you and everything away from me, and I would have been powerless to stop it. I'm powerless, and that's what my disease is."
He had just said to me "I was really surprised to see him completely drunk in the hotel, I thought he would have just had a few, since he had such an important court hearing."
So, today, I accept that he'll never really understand (maybe try really hard, and get really close). I can accept and love the fact, that he'll never truly have to go through what we do. I love him for trying. I love this program for showing me that I do not HAVE to drink today. I love this program for saving my marriage, my relationship with my kids... everything... my life. But I also love this disease - because just like the movie - without it, I may have never found the God of my understand. I would never know the sweet sweet freedom of letting go.
I completely agree with your observation, while i can empathize and learn the concept of what it means to be an alcoholic however unless I truly experience what it is to be an addict I really can't ever get it. That is why the open AA meetings for me are sooooo important, I get my compassion fuel from those meetings and my detachment fuel from the alanon meetings. I can tell when I have not been, and I sooo get I'm grateful for both programs because they are showing me who I am and the woman the God of my understanding wants me to be!!
Thanks for being here?
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thank you for sharing. I, too, have felt gratitude for AH's disease. It has forced me to my knees and brought my HP(my God) back to me and forced me to practice letting go.
