The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is a place I can call home. This place is called Alanon World, or even 12 Step World. This is a place where I am not alone. This is a place I share with a host of other people, including you. This is a unique experience, being able to attend a forum from my own dining room table. No petrol in the car and no baby sitter. [Those days are long over for me].
But still I miss the chatter, the hum of voices, and the expressions on people's faces, and the body language. This is a place where I feel welcome, where I feel comfortable, where I belong. The sun is starting to come up over the mountain- living in this valley is like being in a huge sardine can- there are hills and mountains to the north, to the south to the east and the west. I love once in a while to look out to sea. it is a completely different experience.
But there is a dimension here, while sharing, that is priceless for me. My name is David, and I am a proud member of Alanon. As a child I disappeared into the world of books, and the wisdom of learning. When I left home I might have landed on my feet, and had a successful career, marriage, and a wonderful life. Not so. Because for a lot of family members I was planned and designed for a life of crisis. But what a forum like this does for me is that it uses my learning, and love of words to manage my own emotions, to get in touch with the experience of others. "Under the radar" I might have said.
I have had some pluses, and the experience strength and hope I gained from Alanon fed into my own world and my own family, going forward. It could not change the past. But it did change my perception of the past, enormously. When I look back at Alanon I realise that I need to make some contribution, a tradition 7 of the spirit. I have just gotten the whole world from off of my shoulders- so I do not have to carry a burden for Alanon. Progress, not perfection!
There are little things- like offering gratitude, taking a turn at greeting, or contributing to a thread.
I went through a lengthy process of being angry at my FOO [family of origin] and over the last three or four years being angry at my group of origin- my Goo. So I set out to sever the apron strings, and kick over the traces. I needed to do this, and thankfully had quit before I came into this forum. This experience gave me even more wisdom and understanding of the programme- its strengths and limitations. [For which I can turn to the Serenity Prayer.]
I encountered a thread this week, on this forum, which raised some Alanon issues. I liked that- I saw that as natural and genuine. It did not bring up issues about this forum- and I for one did not address these issues, because, simply they did not exist. For me the strength of the 12 Steps is that they build me up. And the 12 Traditions build up the group. To enter into the traditions is to embrace maturity. A lot of this was lacking in my own background, in my own family. But Alanon is going to offer me this opportunity, to grow emotionally.
I think I always had a gift with words- But DID NOT have the skill and patience to put them together into a simple whole. Alanon gave me this, for which I am truly grateful. I can remember the confusion, anger and shame I felt, but I no longer have to live with it. I am grateful for the MIP forum, and the opportunity to say this- to the people who made this invention work. I am grateful for the three moderators who help this forum along, who lead by example. I could only wish for the wisdom and insight I can see here. It is an inspiration.
And also for the company, the friendship and companionship I find here, and find everywhere Alanon is spoken.
Ho`o Maikai David e Mahalo Nui (Blessings David and Thanks Much) - (I'll stop there) - for this share and bringing it from the valley of your orgin. Spiritually this hit me soooo deeply because you can touch that part of me also which is culture and to where the disease of alcoholism found no respect or road block to its destruction. I fully agree and am compassionate with your gratitude and also your identity with the miracle. To have another Pacific Islander share my mana, my spirit, is wonderful. I can hear the voice within as it comes from within you. I am choked with gratitude and also pray that all other members have this same awe inspiring feeling.
The disease installed fear in my youthful body and life and the fellowship of Al-Anon and it's promises that I would find help if I kept an open mind gave me freedom from this fear. Up until that time I took all of the disease as it had manifested itself in my mind, body, spirit and emotions with me where ever I went and then Akua ko`u makua kane (God my father) led me to the door of the Al-Anon Family Groups and the unconditional Aloha my natural family knew nothing about practicing. That condition still exists in my home country and the destruction continues except where the program resides and grows because of the "voice" we give back. "You no longer have to live this way...you can be "free at last, free at last, Thank God I'm free at last". I will re-read your post again and again. It speaks of spiritual presence.
I can so identify with all that you shared David. MIP and Alanon Face to Face meetings gave me my voice, my self esteem and my Higher Power .
No where else have I ever found the love, empathy understanding and compassion as I have in the rooms of alanon and this Board. I was so nourished that I have been able to give these these beautiful support tools back to others and become enriched as I do
Thank You all for being part of My Recovery Family
I too am so grateful for the Spirit that resides within me after finding Al-anon. I too come from a background that kept me in crisis and chaos and so my gratitude to this board and its contributors is great. Thanks for this share and thread it spoke to me deeply. Sending you love and support on your journey!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
. This is a unique experience, being able to attend a forum from my own dining room table. No petrol in the car and no baby sitter. [Those days are long over for me].
As a child I disappeared into the world of books, and the wisdom of learning. When I left home I might have landed on my feet, and had a successful career, marriage, and a wonderful life. Not so. Because for a lot of family members I was planned and designed for a life of crisis. But what a forum like this does for me is that it uses my learning, and love of words to manage my own emotions, to get in touch with the experience of others. "Under the radar" I might have said.