The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so happy to tell you guys im going to my first F2F meeting on sunday!! and boy do I need it, I had an awful day yesterday and decided to call up the al anon head office in london to find any 'day' meetings in my area, there are two evening meetings near me that I just cant get to as I have two small children and my partner works away so he cant sit them, but I spoke to a wonderful lady who found me a sunday morning meeting and even gave me two phone numbers of ladies that attend who i can call and meet up with, Im like a kid on xmas eve!!!
I finally told my partner about my worries about when his daughter comes to stay with us at alternate weekends, lets just say shes very rude and obnoxcious and Im starting to not want to be around her, been an on going thing for a few years now and it has caused lots of arguments and i have been having trouble letting go and letting god, and i hit an all time low yesterday and called up the al anon office for help, my sister in law helped me out massivly by talking to my partner about my concerns and he finally saw that it wasnt me just being 'spitefull' about his daughter, she confirmed that his daughter is very rude to everyone she comes into contact with and that his daughter's behaviour is making me spiritually ill, it took for someone else to tell him for him to see that im not just diggin her out, i have been pulling my hair out over this!! as a few of you will know, I felt sick at the way I felt about her, shes 12 and has made things very difficult for me, her mother has let her get away with murder for years and I know its not the little girls fault,
so anyway, Im gonna get my butt to that meeting and I can finally start my step work, today will be a good day!! I feel so positive and its fantastic,
I send you all my love and blessings and I will let you all know how it goes,
And what a blessing your sister-in-law was to finally tell him.
I used to say that if somebody at work or a neighbor or a random stranger told my husband the very same thing that I had, that he had dismissed, it suddenly becane Gospel truth--a great revelation!
One day he came in all excited because a radio host had said something so insightful and wise to a caller, and I said, did she tell him X, Y and Z? And he said "Yes! And I thought boy, she is so smart."
Things that make you just shake your head.
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Something we learned to say to my son who is mentally ill (let me tell you about his behaviors shall I? LOL) a THERAPIST (before people go off on me) who my son very much responded to well, told his dad and I to say to him "I love you, I will always love you but you are making it very hard to like you right now".
It was something that helped calm us down in the moment and regroup when we go to the boiling point. And it made him focus on his part in the whole dance. Doesn't cure mental illness but did help us cope. Not that would help you to say it to her or not, but in your head you can remember that it's possible to love someone and dislike what they are doing.
No different than loving someone who's in their addiction!
