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Wanted to get some input from others here. I have been toying with this question over the last couple of weeks. My AW's drinking from what I see has gotten much better. I'm not nieve enough to think she has completely stopped but I don't see nearly as much of it like I once did. She has never been the drinker that drinks until passing out or very openly drunk. Anyways, here is my question/dilemma...
On the weekend I sometimes like to have a beer or two while watching the game or sitting outside. I have not done this in a while and have been gun-shy because I feel like this may validate to my spouse to drink. One side of me says I can give that up but my other side says she deals with her issue, what am I gonna do and one has nothing to do with the other. If I decide this weekend to have a drink or two should I or keep completely sober?
Hello there,,,, I have to say that for the last four years with my A, I have had drink in the house, he has never stopped me drinking and let me do what I wanted, but,,,,,,,,I now realize that maybe I shouldn't have just thought it was ok to do that,, so now I have stopped drinking altogether, I feel awful for sitting and enjoying that glass of wine in the evening, and as I said, my partner has never once said anything about it, he is sober 10 years in april 2013 and im lucky enough not to have to addiction to drink, and out of respect for him, i will not drink anymore, but that's totally my choice, the more I realize how much I understand my partner the more I want to get well for myself and for him, and I could do without the drink too,
Im not sure if that has helped you, its a difficult one hunnie
My drinking enabled his drinking. since he saw no problem with his drinking, why should he stop? it's hypocritical for me to say that I can drink but he should not. It's me playing the Director again, lining up the scene precisely as I want it to look, "places everyone!"
I gave it up because I hated the enemy, alcohol was destroying my family. "BE the change you want to see" comes to mind.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Well I have to add that my wife does not think (or said to me) that she has a drinking problem but has greatly reduced any drinking around me. What she does when I am not around.... well, not my problem.
it's a self control thing. If you decide to drink... Show her how it's done. Having a couple of beers staying in good spirits and stopping when you know you know/feel you have had enough
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since i found out babe ruth struck out 1,330 times, i've been feeling lots better!!
Part of me wants to say to you "live your life!" -- if you want a beer, have one...her disease should not affect YOU.
Then I remember....whenever I drank...or spent money on frivolous things or did anything that he OVERDID...he would use it against me...When I expressed concern about his overspending...or drinking...he would bring up the last time I drank or bought something...
I ultimately had to weigh the cost - benefit...Is is worth it?
I won't but I understand the power of cravings and addictions. I cannot keep sweet food in my house on a regular basis or in any quantity. I just can't always resist it. It's a little different in that if I eat a bunch of oreo's I'm not going to pass out but when the sweets are brought in, the challenge is often more than I can bear.
Halloween is hard on me, right now between two of my kids I have about 10 pounds of candy in my house. I have to tell myself it's not my candy but even with that it's going to be near impossible for me to avoid all of it.
Knowing how that feels, I opt not to have alcohol near my A. But the reality is, if I did it wouldn't be my fault he drank. Just like it is not my kids fault I am probably going to have some of their candy at some point. I'd love to say I'm going to not eat any of it but I prefer not to lie to myself. I will continue to tell myself it belongs to them, if they offer it for me I will have a lot of talks with myself and I do now for sure work on portions, meaning I don't need to eat a pound of it. A few pieces and be done.
