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I have the opportunity to go to a fun and formal ball next month with my husband and friends. Dinner and free drinks. I want to go, but I'm anxious about my husband drinking too much. The last time we went to a party like this he got really drunk (so did a lot of other people mind you). Part of me says I should go and have fun, I shouldn't let his potential behaviour stop me from having a good time. On the other hand, is it worth the stress and anxiety?
Totally get where your coming from, we all need some fun, its good for the soul.
I also know how much the what if's get in the way and stop us from doing anything sociable and we isolate ourselves. Also like you mentioned in your post he wasn't the only one who got good and loaded.
I would say pass this over to your HP for the guidance you need.
Love Simone x
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What a caterpiller calls the end of the world....God calls a butterfly
Just a thought but you could always mention that you would like to go with him but you are not comfortable with him drinking at the event. That was it is his choice. Another option is maybe go with a girlfriend?
One thing you might consider is: What if he does get drunk? It would be good to have a Plan B in case that happens. Would you be able to stay and enjoy yourself, or would that ruin the event? (Either sounds possible.) Could you leave? Could you get him home safely? Could you make sure you weren't getting in a car with him driving? Of course the aim is for you to have a good (and safe) time no matter what he does!
I do know people who go to parties and manage to detach from the A. Personally I stoped going anywhere with the now ex A where he would drink/use because I would somehow get roped into it. I had a hard enough time with him in the car/truck when he wasn't supposedly loaded (but he always was).
The decision is really yours. I know people who manage not to be embarassed by it. In theory these days I don't drive with anyone who is drinking. One of my colleagues gave me a ride home from work once and shot through a red light. I don't want to repeat that again. What if he had got a ticket? I don't really need that kind of stress in my life. Of course that means I am not Ms. Popular but I am willing to go along with that.
The choice is up to you. Of course sometimes we need to learn by experience. I had plenty of experience going places with the now exA and he got drunk. Then I stopped going with him. Of course that didn't go down too well.
Can you go alone? One of those "consequence" things. "Sorry honey I am just not in a good place to handle your drinking with my friends, I need to go without you". Of course sounds as if he's invited too - that's a tough one. Were it me, it would either be going alone, or not going, even if he went. I personally wouldn't want to be around that :(
