The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi friends, So glad to have found MIP again. I have had one helluva year since I have been on the message boards. Just having spent a weekend with my very alcoholic sister and then having to cut ties with her, my mother has brain cancer, my husband has been worse with his drinking and I feel like I am getting smaller and smaller. If I don't reach out for help soon, I could very well disappear.
I'm not sure what to talk about here. I am hesitant to whine and complain about my life...compared to so many lives my life is incredible and easy and blessed.
A few months ago I had relly gotten to the point that I could start to try and love myself. This wnt well for a few weeks, then everythign began slipping backwards, one circumstance after another. Now I find I am returning to old patterns and am starting to isolate and not tell anyone anything.
This is not the way to healing.
It is an ego thing that i find it easier to give help than ask for it. Also because I have been involved in 12 step programs for so long, I suppose part of me thinks it should all come very naturally, that my mind shouldnt go into those dark places of fear and I should be jumping on some step work. In fact that is what I am doing...but I SHOULD stop SHOULDING on myself yes?
I don't do face to face meetings. In my area there is only one, and I am remiss to attend it for so many reasons.
anyways, I don't even know where to start again so I will leave it at...I'm back. :) and glad to be here.
Welcome back. Glad you decided to come back because I need all the experience stength and hope I can get from your shares and everyone else's here. By the way, you can whine and complain all you want to, you're amongst friends. I really like that picture of the pony you've posted. My goal is to feel like that by the end of today - warmed by the sun and filled with serenity. If I use my Alanon tools I think I may get there.
I use to live a lot in my head too - thinking no one would really want to hear the stuff I'm going through and no one would care. To a point I think I was right. People who haven't experienced alcoholism or it's effects first hand can leave us feeling even more lonely and isolated by their well meaning but ill informed comments and suggestions. Family members who aren't in recovery can belittle our recovery and act out in ways that really play on our self worth.
If you only have one meeting near you and it's a dud for whatever reason, meetings online and this board can be a great solution. In my own experience, I had to be careful not to spend too much time with recovery online. For me it became a form of denial. I was denying myself the opportunity to go out in the world to try out my new Alanon tools with new people and new situations. I've found that doing service outside of Alanon is a great way to work the twelfth step and stay out of poor me. We, Alanons have a lot to give and there are people out there who are so grateful to receive what we can give through our skills, talents and kindnesses. I decided to do some volunteering. I began by letting my heart lead and my head eventually followed. Suddenly, I wasn't isolated anymore. I hadn't disappeared. I began to show up. Then the miracle happened. I began to realize my higher power's presence, the same hp who I'd accused of abandoning me was right there with me. If I do the footwork, I see my higher power keeps pace with me and helps me to continue growing and living fully.
I hope today is a good one for you. You're worth it. Hugs. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I have to say im not experienced enough to quote any great things from our books or give any advice to you, but I hope you find the strength to cope with your last year and the future, im new to this and am about to start my journey up the 12 step path, Im sick myself but not an addict, and the 12 steps I have no doubt will help me, what i have found really helped, and is helping, is listening online to various speakers, of AA and Al anon, I cant get to my local meeting at the mo, so i listen and listen to speakers share their experience, strength and hope, its amazing to me, but im desperate to get to a meeting so i can get myself a sponser and start step 4, i have done 1,2,3 and im chompin at the bit to continue, my partner is an Alcoholic and is in his 10th year of sobriety, although the last 4 years he stopped going to meetings and never practiced his step work and became a dry drunk, things were horrible, but we both on the programe now (him with AA and me with al anon) and getting on better than ever, we are working hard together to get well, and its working, thank god,
I send my love and hugs to you and hope you are well,
Thanks for your post....it was just what i needed. I have gone so backwards over the last week its crazy. Real insanity but now i see it just means gotta go back and really look at the first 2 steps again.
If you want to vent you vent!! Its so important to be able to share your feelings...good or bad.
I haven't got much more to say apart from glad your back and I lookforward to seeing more of your posts.
Take care of you
Love
Simone x
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What a caterpiller calls the end of the world....God calls a butterfly
Whenver I decided that I couldn't or wouldn't go to a certain meeting, most of my reasons were BS. If it's alanon and alanon is what you need, you deserve a seat there. Half measures avail us nothing. Welcome back, but if you are going to do this, you'll get the best results doing it full force, with face to face meetings and a sponsor.
