The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My mum came out of rehab 6 days ago, and I think started drinking the day after. She was so positve in rehab and it was her decision to go in the first place, she spent the last of her savings on going. But is now back on the drink hard and fast. Drinking from 7.00am right through the day, and is back to not washing and ignoring my calls. She never even made it to a single AA meeting.
I know there is nothing I can do, but just feel such a low myself. I lost £2000 trying to help her while she was in the rehab centre, loss of earnings, travelling to and from her centre, and cleaning up her house (as she didn't bath for 2 years or do any cleaning in her house). And it all just feels such a loss. It was her choice to go into rehab and she was determined never to drink again.
I want to walk away from her again, as i'm not sure I can face this anymore. I am the only family member in contact with her, and she alienated all her friends.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I attended my first Al-Anon meeting a few days ago and did find it helpful.
My father began drinking 3 days after his stint in rehab. It was as though he never went. His was a government one to (I live in Canada), our tax dollars at work.
It's difficult, but you are defenitely not alone and you should keep attending meetings. You'll see that the more you share and work the program, you will see things much more clearly. This is now affecting your life. You lost $2000. That's not chump change regardless of how much you make/have. As long as you are still around to bail her out, she'll keep taking advantage. Your other family members have figured this out. At your next meeting, talk to members about 'loving detachment'
Welcome Misst...don't continue to do what hasn't worked for you or your Mum. Alcoholism will run inspite of either of your efforts to stop it without help from those who know how to do it. Call the local AA central and see if they have member who will go face to face with her with you out of the way. That is how AA started and it is still part of how it works today. Stick with Al-Anon. Keep coming back here. ((((hugs))))
Yes that sounds like a very difficult situation. you only have control over yourself and your actions, adn this sounds like an unhealthy situation for YOU as well as your mum. I encourage coming to Al Anon and coming here and taking care of yourself.
Your mum has been drinking for a long time, now she's drinking again, you can take some time and money for yourself, and the situation will probably be the same for her.
They say the disease is baffling, cunning and powerful. When people are that sick, they're irrational and there is nothing you can do about them. You can only handle your actions.
We who have loved ones who are alcoholics contribute to the dysfunctional dynamic. We are responsible for our part in it. We don't drive people to drink, but we do drive ourselves to misery.
Coming to al anon i've learned to drive other places.
I raised enough money (from family members) for my ex-husband to go to a fancy rehab facility in Malibu for $70,000. He relapsed after three weeks. He had some of the best and world class services available.
Lesson learned: They dont get sober until they are ready to get sober. No matter what kind of price everyone pays.
