Today I had a much-needed reminder of how far I've come in my program.  I still struggle a lot in how I deal with my AH, and how I work my program in that relationship.  But I also have a very, very dear friend dating back to 7th grade, who has struggled with alcoholism since high school.  He has always been very "high functioning"--top grades, top careers, more talent in his pinky finger than everybody I know put together, etc.  He hit bottom about 3 years ago--left his wife and newborn daughter to live with a woman he worked with, and descended into his worst drinking binge for about two months.  His wife detached but did not file for divorce, and after those two months, he voluntarily went to treatment.  He spent over 90 days in treatment, and put his family back together.  He left his career, and returned to music (his passion and talent), and has had some big successes with iPad apps for kids, and some instrumental music that has been added to movie soundtracks.  He and his wife and their daughter moved to Colorado from Chicago for a fresh start about 18 months ago.  He had a throat cancer scare earlier in the year, and he and his wife recently found out they are expecting another baby.  About a year ago, he told me he had started drinking again.

We talk every month or two, just to catch up on each others' lives.  We don't really discuss his drinking in detail, and I don't pass judgment on him.

He called me today; he was picked up for a DUI two days ago.  It's his first, but his BAC was .187, which is an aggravated DUI in Colorado.  He is leaving for 30 days in rehab on Thursday.  He alternated between being embarrassed and scared, and trying minimize it all.  I was so proud of myself, how I was able to listen, and offer detached support, but not become emotionally invested in his recovery (or lack thereof).  He asked that I check in on his wife every week or so while he is in treatment (she and I had lunch a few times while he was in treatment the first time, and her serenity and the way she worked her program was amazing), and I said I would be happy to do so.  When I asked how he felt about going to treatment, he said he was glad, because he knows he needs to go.

As I inch closer and closer to leaving my own AH, and my feelings of anger and emotional upset shoot through the roof, I really, REALLY needed this reminder today--that I have worked very hard in Al Anon, I have developed some amazing skills and tools, and I am a much better person/friend/wife/mother because of it.  I don't usually get a lot of phone calls...my AH calls on his dinner break every night to say hi and talk to our son, but that's usually it.  This week I have had a ton of calls...my brother, my dad, my sister-in-law, my cousin, a dear friend whose son with Down Syndrome is undergoing open heart surgery next week, and now my alcoholic friend in Colorado.  Every phone call gave me something different...either some much-needed perspective, or support, or distraction.  I tend to withdraw and not communicate with others when I'm feeling down, and my HP was DEFINITELY at work this week, keeping me connected and bringing me so many messages that I needed.