I Know what you are talking and feeling about to. I also have forgotten who I am and the morals I once had. I too am searching for me again after almost 10 years. Meetings and reading as much as I can,. It is killing me and nothing is changing, My A is never going to change, so I have to change. I need to find a way to make me a happy person again. Good Luck to you and I'll be thinking about you and praying we both find our answers we are searching for.

One thing that helped me, among the others listed here, was to give myself permission to say yes to my thoughts.


I tell variations of this story but for me it was huge empowerment. For nearly 25 years I have said to myself "I will own a horse again" or "I will ride again". I am a horse nut! One day as I had been working on regaining myself after my divorce I heard a new voice and it said "why not now?" Then my HP lead me to seeing posts from a close friend who was leasing a horse for her daughters. I've been aware of the concept of leasing horses since I was about 10 years old.

Suddenly I said "yes, I can do that!" and it took me a month to find the cost, find I could afford it and find a horse to lease. Now I ride weekly again and it's my soul food. NOTHING stops me from my weekly visit to the horse LOL.

I'm worth my happiness and I say yes more. I went to a haunted house Friday, I love scary stuff, it was a little expensive but I knew I would have a blast. In the past very quickly I'd have said 'oh I can spend that money on things we need' but the truth is, it wasn't going to hurt my pocket book nearly as bad as I made it out to be. So I went. This year I've gotten on a rollercoaster (a few actually), done the haunted house, rafted down the river and leased a horse. I used to always find reasons to say no, now I find reasons to say yes.

And I come here to remind myself I'm a work in progress and always have things to learn.