Hi chinup - have you read any of the recommended books here? I think two that would be really beneficial are "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No" and "Getting Them Sober".

I think something you may want to consider is that you are in the same environment so it feels normal on a daily basis and is easy to keep the status quo. Change is not easy, it can be clumsy, hard and take time to see the fruits of our progress. The status quo is easy and comfortable and familiar. I've heard it said that there sometimes has to be enough pain to spur us forward or for us to hit our "bottom" (yes, Al Anoners have bottom too!) and it may be that while confusing and difficult, there just hasn't been that "thing" that makes you say "I absolutely cannot do this anymore".

The good news is always that we do not need to make a change until we are ready. And ready means both in spirit and body, both ready together. You are doing a great job right now of finding your awareness, focus on the positives in what you are doing, be good to yourself you deserve it! You set a boundary and are staying with it, those are things you can be very proud of.

Try reading some books and go easy on yourself! Part of making good changes for ourselves also includes seeing the good in ourselves!

You don't need to respond to him either. He has a plan for his life, and while he may be putting you in it, in his mind - there is nothing saying you have agreed. He's allowed to have his thoughts and beliefs and while unsettling that he's assumed you'll want the same, his word do not make it reality, they are just words. No need to respond but do listen. Listen because he is telling you who he is and you can use that information in time to decide if he is someone you want to be with permanently. No need to decide right now, but just listen to him. And remember you have a right to your own thoughts and plans for YOUR life. Dream big. Let them come, maybe they will include him, maybe not but they are yours!