The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Funny little tidbit....When I tell him that he can't talk to me that way, or that I am feeling disrespected...He tells me to stop with the therapy talk. HA HA HA HA!!!
-- Edited by dragonflys on Saturday 13th of October 2012 11:48:24 PM
I think where I had to own my part in how my A treated me was that it wasn't just that he was an addict and addicts do what they do. I allowed it for so long that he thought it was perfectly normal and acceptable to treat me that way. The last time he tried to do that I set a clear boundary and told him he never had the right to speak to me or treat me badly, and sure as hell doesn't now that we are divorcing. He did change his tune a bit. It was on me to set the boundary of I'm not the dumping ground.
Knowing when I see he's calling/texting i don't have to answer the phone AND even when he gets the kids I don't have to see or I can choose to just make it about the kids. Before alanon I didn't know I had any other choices, that was pretty big for me, finding out I really did have choices where I couldn't see any.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hugs Pushka!
Yes, I do agree!!! I have allowed him to treat me that way and so he thinks it is ok. After we got off the phone, I texted him and told him that I will no longer answer his phone calls. If he wants to communicate with me, it must be via text or email. I told him that I do not deserve to be talked to that way. Long story short, no more phone calls. I cannot talk to this man. Thanks for being here :). Hugs - dragonflys
Yep, agreeing with Pushka here. I allowed it for so long and when I decided I'd had enough and started pointing out how crappy he made me feel, he got worse and turned more blame game on me. He couldn't stand the fact that I didn't want to be a doormat anymore. He keeps saying that he wants his wife back. He just doesn't get it.
Hugs to you both tonight! We're all on a wonderful journey of self-discovery, aren't we?
I can say that when a person pours alcohol or other toxic subtances into their body on a regular basis, it takes years to heal even if they do stop. My brain was firing all funky for a good while (still not convinced it's back to normal). It felt like the radio was turned up in my head and I couldn't turn it down. I couldn't stop the thoughts from whirling whirling...Hence, what other people got when they talked to me was verbal vomit and highly emotionally charged BS.
