The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just thought that I would share with you all how I am doing recently. I feel that going to meetings has really helped me let go of guilt, fear, and control. I am now able to accept this situation and know that I am powerless over it. Although I miss my A brother, I am choosing to take care of my own happiness as I have learned through Al anon that taking care of myself and focusing on myself is the only thing I can do. There is nothing I can do for my brother, he is fighting his own battle. I know he is strong and have faith that my HP is protecting him and will bring him out of his addiction. Focusing on the positive, not giving in to negativity and fear, has not only helped me feel better, but I feel it puts positive energy out there for my brother. I believe we are all connected and even though I am not physically near my brother, he is connected to me. If I put out negativity and fear, I'm not giving him a chance to believe he can do this for himself. He knows where to meet for AA, he knows the steps and what it takes, he has a sponsor to reach out to, and he knows how much me and his family love him. I used to feel guilty because I focused on what I said and did that could have affected him. Now I realize that he is going to choose his path regardless of what I say or do. This ability to let go and give it to my HP has really helped. Don't get me wrong, I still have hard days because this is a huge struggle. Taking my dog for a walk, cleaning my house, taking care of my health physically and mentally, meetings, and seeing my holistic health practitioner has really helped and is what I need to do for my recovery. Recovery for me is the only way to help my A by showing him I am not going to enable him to use anymore, that I'm standing strong and won't give in to his pleas. I know he can do this, I have seen his determination in the past, and I know he has a strong faith in his HP that has helped him to get clean before. It is such a blessing to be able to enjoy my day (for the most part) and not feel guilty that he is homeless and I have a roof over my head. He chose it and he knows how to get the help he needs. I look forward to the day we can spend time together and give thanks to our HP for helping us through this. I know he will do great things one day...he loves others and has an amazing heart. Thanks for listening
I want to add that for all of you out there feeling like crap today, I totally understand. I was depressed for weeks and weeks, just breathing was all I could do. I had no light in my eyes and I was going through the motions. I still have times like that but now I have the tools. The fact that I can even post something positive is proof that Al anon works :)
I just want to add also to all of you out there feeling like crap I have been down that road twice & both time's Al anon & this group have helped me find myself, to put the focus on me. Taught me how to let go & let God, live one day at a time, give without expectations, set healthy boundaries.
Just yesterday I got a text from my alcoholic son asking when he could come for coffee. I had not heard from him since Easter dinner. Here it was another holiday & he was all alone & wanting family time. I was able to tell him "not for awhile" as I am getting help for myself & want to get well first, I also told him I love him & will always love him. He told me he loved me, now weather he does or is capable of it, it really doesn't matter what matters is that I feel good that I set healthy boundary for both of us.
It sure feels good.
Keep coming back Sam & thank you tyfs.
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Icie
"Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die..."
Wow Sam, that is a great post, very positive and hopeful! Be strong, be aware and be ready, alcoholics/addicts are a cunning bunch...
In support, Oldergal ....
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
