The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok its hard to stay sane right now. AW left for meeting 7:45 with serious urges to drink. She txtd me at 9:45 P.M. Said she still had urge to drink and was going to stick around and chat. I have been reading back through posts ever since. Its now 12:45 A.M. I'm still at home (not driving around looking for her) and somewhat calm and sane. Thx everyone for the reads and keeping me grounded.
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IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOT
So pleased like you that we have this site...It helps me to stay strong, encouraged and hopeful. I am so pleased that you are feeling an innercalm, thats what al-anon has helped me to stay in focus and not act out of fear, obsession etc. My thoughts are with you so glad your here.
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What a caterpiller calls the end of the world....God calls a butterfly
I can remember the nites I lay in bed wondering where the Husband was, it was such a drain. In the beginning I would toss and turn, then with more Alanon, it got easier. I could actually fall asleep in the last 10 years of marriage.
Does your wife have a sponsor??? So the next time she has the urge, she can call her sponsor.
Make sure you make time for your recovery and your Alanon meetings. Yes the people here are wonderful and supportive, but I hope your getting in a face to face meeting.
Bettina hit on what I was going to say. She is better off turning to her sponsor with her cravings and such. She's gotta work the program and not work you. Telling you is one thing, but expecting you to fix it reinforces codepedency for you and manipulation for her. It concerns me that she is acting like it's some monumental struggle she is in and she plays it up to you that way so she can have a ready made excuse to go out and drink. No - getting sober is not easy, but it's not rocket science either. When a person really wants to quit drinking, they are not tortured by cravings round the clock. It's not like heroin. After about 6 days, the detox is gone. I recall getting ideas to go and drink after that, but not really strong cravings. I called my sponsor when that happened and worked through the insane thoughts. It would have been torturous to put my family through that.
You are doing great bringing this here and seeking out support from Alanon. The best thing you can do for her is model problem solving and behavior change through working your own program. Prayers for you!
It turned out all good. She hung out with her sponsor till 1:15 (after the bars close) then she came home. We talked about the stress she causes when she doesnt let me know that she is ok. For the first time since i have known her she didnt get defensive about the pain she caused me. That i think is good. So it was good exept for throwing my concerns under the bus!!! She txtd me @ 12:48 and that was all i needed i actually fell asleep for 20 min till she got home SOBER!!!!!!!!!
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IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOT
