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This is a poem I came across in AA meetings. I posted it on the AA boards but I thought some of you might like to read it cuz this is what you see going on right in front your your face. It sort of helps to understand alcoholism I guess. For most alcoholics these things are all on different continuums and once all of them hit the latter, that's a bottom.
Why I drank:
I drank for happiness and became unhappy; I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank to be out-going and became self-centred; I drank for sociability and became argumentative and lonely; I drank for sophistication and became crude and obnoxious. I drank for friendship and made enemies, I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity; I drank for sleep and awakened without rest. I drank for strength and felt weak. I drank for masculinity and it sapped my potency; I drank medicinally and got sick. I drank because I thought my job called for it and lost my job. I drank to stimulate thought and blacked out. I drank to make conversation and got to where I couldn't talk at all; I drank to forget and became haunted. I drank for freedom's sake and became a slave. I drank for power and became powerless; I drank to erase problems and saw them multiply. I drank to cope with life and invited death...
Thank you for sharing, pinkchip. You know, my AH has given me the many reasons he drank. 2 days ago he told me he drank because he was lonely. 6 months ago he told me he drank because he was scared. 6 months before that he drank because he was stressed out and anxious. And, 6 months before that he drank because he was angry and depressed.
There's always a reason, but I know that once he gets into the rooms of AA he'll come to understand that he drank because he is powerless over alcohol. Plain and simple, no other excuse or reason needs to be given and acceptance can move in and take over.
My particular favorite is, "I drank because it was Tuesday." I am not the drinker in the family, but your list of reasons are all valid. I see every one of them in my former partner. God save him, because I cannot.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I love this one. Thanks for bumping it back to the top!!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I thought of this poem when reading all the other recent posts about why people drink and if it's choice or not.
I don't know that this answers that question directly, but it does capture the allure of drinking and how insidiously it gives you the opposite of what you'd hoped.
Great poem Mark. Thanks for bringing it forward . It certainly does capture the alcoholic thinking and I can easily see the insanity and sadness of this disease . I can also see how insane it is to attempt to argue or rationalize with this insanity
I find as time goes on the reasons other people give me or the reasons I give myself for any behaviors matter less and less. Often times, there is only speculation in the reasons and not much truth anyway. It is a way for me to stay distracted and obsessive...I like to and sometimes need to understand (depending on the situation), but I can cross the line into obsessiveness quickly.
Thanks Mark.
Would you guys advise I print it and stick on the wall beside my bed, along with the other stuff I have there?
The intention is my husband to see and maybe read/reflect on it.
Good idea? Bad idea?
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
I liked the poem and it shows me what I've had to face at some point in my lifetime - my way doesn't work. My way doesn't bring me what I want. My way is really crazy-making for me. My way is something I didn't get at 2 when I rolled on the floor, kicked my arms and legs, screamed and then held my breath until I turned blue. My way is something I will never get now either because I can't see the whole picture, little me is only one of the billions of people living on this earth, I'm really not as important or special or smart or loving as I once believed I was. I've learned that letting go of wanting my way no matter how many masks I wear to hide the truth of my sense of entitlement results in receiving exactly what I need to be honest, humble and real. That's one of the things I like about Al-Anon and the fellowship. Little by little, we stop demanding our way and start accepting the way to experience serenity and our own humanity.
Luia We are powerless over the disease Your hubby might see the article and deny it applies to him or use it to validate why he drinks.
I would use the poem to truly accept the nature of this disease and then decide to do all I can to help myself recover from the affects. Then I woull try to learn how to live life on life's terms.
Thank you Pinkchip, that poem says it all really. So sad. So confusing. It takes such bravery to do the opposite of what our brain is telling us to do. So courageous.
Grateful - I love standing in the dark, looking up at all those stars. There is no use arguing with that lot!