Kuleana is a cultural behavior for me.  Koo lee ah nah is that part of my life where and when I am participating in my life and the lives of others.   Okay this is not a Hawaiian language or cultural lesson; it is only a mention of how I arrived and the lessons given to me as a child thru my adult years and importantly into the Al-Anon Family Groups and life changes.  

When I was fully involved in the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction I forgot my cultural birth and existence and all the lessons imparted to me from those who came before me.  I forgot it all and moved away from the practice of it...I started to and then daily practiced the behavior of control and manipulation in, out and around the disease..."it" addiction owned me.  When I got into Al-Anon the program and the people seemed to be an alien life form and I just couldn't see the forest for the trees.  I was lost and broken and dying while still standing up.  The only thing I had left was a very minimal and marginal ability to sit down and listen.  I messed this up often because I was so mentally derranged that so very often I reacted outwardly to the new lessons that would help me recover my mind...body...spirit and emotions.  I sat in the face to face rooms and learned that I wanted to live and also that I wanted so bad to "get it".  I didn't trust I was getting enough from the fellowship, that I needed more and I needed confirmation that what I had already gotten was good and useful.  I enrolled in college to get more and get it right.  I trusted professors more than I trusted the fellowship.  I trusted people with education more than those with experience and when it was done I realized that I could have saved the money for tuition and then, I learned the technical aspects of alcoholism and substance abuse.  Combine both of those together and I came to understand more about my alcoholic/addict wife and all alcoholics and addicts (even myself...I am a double).

It was so necessary to understand the physiology of the disease.  It was so necessary to understand the psycology of it.  It was so necessary to understand the neurology and more.  These understanding taught me to be truely compassionate and merciful for my alcoholic/addict wife and all the other alcoholics and addicts I had met and would meet later on. 

I learned the true perception of "altered states"; that under the influence didn't only mean the chemical within and that my alcoholic/addict wife was two women and that I rarely if ever was with the one I was enthralled with.  Alcoholism and drug addiction affects and alters the mind, body, spirit and emotions and does so all at the same time wet or dry.  How so very very sad.  My alcoholic/addict was dying when she wasn't acknowledging it and right before my eyes when I was acknowledging it.  How different our worlds became when I got into Al-Anon recovery...how alien our lives were to each other. 

My kuleana was learn and to know and to keep the lessons with me at all times, never substituting for my fantasy.  "It is what it is and it's alcoholism and drug addiction".  From all the education and the experiences I have been thru I have learned how to accept the alcoholic/addicts in my life and my own experiences with alcoholism.  I have learned to accept and love unconditionally all who suffer from the disease which is pretty much 100 percent of the others in my life.  I do what I know how to do and live where and within where I was born...The disease is "normal" for me and I know how to move in and out and around it easily without nearly being affected as I once was.  I can be in dysfunction and crises and chaos and have others tell me "you're so unaffected"  Thank God for this journey of personal recovery.

So I tout "learn about the disease...as much as you can and learn about how it has affected you, on all levels (mind, body, spirit and emotions) and what your part was/is in your illness. 

You are responsible; it is your kuleana to learn and then to practice, practice, practice what you come to understand.  It is not the alcoholic/addict's kuleana to build and secure your peace of mind and serenity and neither is it God's alone.  Consider the outcomes, the consequences of how it comes out for me after I cooperate with the alcoholic and/or with God, (Akua; God as I understand The God of my culture).

We talk very often in the program about "peace of mind and serenity" and that use to be my endeavor...my kuleana...and then I learned about "peace of soul and spiritual balance".  This is that place where my Higher Power, Akua and God as I understand God to be for me, wanted me.  This is Higher Powers will for me because as I understand it I am most able to live His/Hers will; where at times I can be "an instrument of His/Hers will".  Its been years now that I have come to understand that this my kuleana.   "When anyone...anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of Al-Anon, Alateen and AA to always be there and for that I am responsible".

Service is part of my kuleana my responsibility and the consequence is life beyond what I ever expected.

Keep coming back...keep growing...listen, learn, practice, practice, practice  ((((hugs))))