The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Finally. I detatched myself from my husband and am currently separated. I could not be happier with my decision for my own well being. I struggled a lot thinking I couldn't do it on my own but I picked up the pieces and I have been. I am so proud of myself. I feel happy, healthy and strong.
My only issue is with him now...he will text me and send me mean messages about the impending divorce and it takes everything I have not to answer him. I know he is just looking for a rise out of me. It's also a challenge because we have a few joint bills that need to be taken care of and I don't want to worry about those anymore. I wish they were gone so I could be completely severed from him. I know that won't happen for a while but I'm looking to the future with high hopes.
I have also met someone else...who is so appreciative, caring and wonderful towards me. It's almost unreal that I am experiencing this. "Is this real life?!" This is really what being happy means and I'm loving every second of it. I Let go and let God. I know he brought this man into my life for a reason and I feel so blessed.
Initially when I left the ex a I felt liberated. Then I went through a long period of grief and anger. Then I went throught a period of examining how I had got into that relationship and why I stayed. Then I got a sponsor.
I can say this really clearly when I met the ex A he was incredibly nice to me. He was attentive, kind, giving and very generous. There were a few signs of what he was. Indeed what he said about his last girlfriend was a huge red flag. For me getting into a relationship when I was just out of one would not have been a good thing. I was too vulnerable.
I do know that people are brought into my life for a reason. Generally I don't agree with the reason. As someone who is a member of al anon I have to be pretty careful in relationship. I have had to learn boundaries, restraint and clarity. I had none of that when I left the ex A.
This is not a decision that I made without thinking. I have been emotionally separated for quite some time and was separated for 6 months last year before I decided to give him one more chance that he again chose to drink instead. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, but everyone is different and I was just expressing my happiness in the new life I have found.
I attend al-anon meetings which have brought me clarity and resolution and I am truly grateful for that. I feel like a completely different person.
