The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm relatively new here...was active about a year ago when my DH went to rehab for an opiate addiction. Everyone was so helpful and supportive. Although he's almost a year clean, I'm back for advice on dealing with my dad...
My father, before my sister and I were born, abused MANY things...alcohol, gambling, cocaine, pills...but once my sister and I were born, he was able to go to rehab and meetings and stick to the program. I do not remember ANY of this and only knew him as a near-perfect father.
Cut to now...he's had issues in the past year with opiates stemming from a hernia surgery. When we confronted him, he admitted to abusing painkillers and got back into therapy and meetings and seemed to be doing well.
in the past few weeks, my sister (who runs the family business with him) found a bottle of pills on the floor of work and witnessed him "nodding out" a few times. I witnessed it myself at his house last week and told him how disappointed in him I was.
Today I got an email from my mother saying that he just got a prescriptin for percocet from the doctor. She told him if he has it filled he cannot come home.
How do I continue to express my concern in a way that he can hear me? How do I communicate with my mom without "getting in the middle" of their marriage (something he's accused me of doing in the past). We are taking a huge family vacation in 10 days, complete with my stepdaughter and nephew, and I am very concerned about them seeing him 'nodding out'...not to mention the regular concerns with an addict...passing out with a lit cigarette, ODing, passing out while driving, affecting the family business...
I am petrified of losing my dad. Please, please, can someone give me some advice?
Thank you so much, and I'm very sorry if I may have broken some etiquette rules...as I said, I'm panicky, relative new here, and desperate for help and advice...
I guess you deal with your father like any addictive person, you go to Al anon meetings & work the program. The same way I do with my addictive son. I set my boundaries. I do not accept unacceptable behavior. I step in when I have too & only when it is to protect my grand-kids & like when I had to save the dog. The rest I let go of & let God. I work the program the best I can some days better than others. Most days I find inner peace. I know I was a good mother, no not perfect, but a good mother. I know I did not cause the disease, I cannot cure the disease.
__________________
Icie
"Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die..."
Keep coming back. Read the posts, go to face to face Al anon meetings if you can. You will get lots of support here & in Al anon face to face meetings Hugs
__________________
Icie
"Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die..."
