The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have made great strides and slipped and forged ahead and I felt another slip here recently. I am now more aware of myself than I have ever been. I thought I was magically cured and forgot this is a process and if I stop working my program I will backslide. It was a great reminder and onward I am going. I still have my old sponsor from my old town that I call whenever I need her, but I am trying to decide whether or not to take on a new sponsor locally to meet with. I set up a meeting with a counselor, but I like the Al-anon accountability factor.
With going to school full time, working part time and with my 2 girls I stopped taking good care of myself and I paid the price again. Readjusting my priorities today. By the way chemisrty is hard and not my strong suit. I could go on about the instructor, but it remains in me to earn the grade I deserve. Just as I have to either commit and move forward with my bf or jump ship. I was so glad to come here and get the self awareness and see my slip happening knowing I had tools and had to remember to use them. Thanks all for the love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
You have awesome awareness!!! Slips happen .. and then I dust myself off and keep going forward. That movie Meet the Robinsons and the family slogan is "Keep Moving Forward". I love how they celebrate the botched experiements as well as the ones that work. The only real fail is to stop trying. So congradulations on falling down and getting back up .. that takes more courgae than the straight and narrow path because none of the paths I have found are straight they each have their own beautiful crooked paths that lead to the goal of serenity and peace.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
When things are going super well, or we are super busy, it's very easy to forget to work out program, I am so guilty of this. Good for you for the self awareness, and picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward!!!
A third option with BF is to just step back - its not an all or nothing kind of thing, you have every right to take as much space and time as YOU need to make the right decision for you and your kids. And, if he objects to you needing time and space, well, that's his problem.... Cheers!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Congratulations. You DO sound very aware of yourself. You're right - it is a process, and I know first hand about the "magically cured" mindset. I've recently been reminded that self awareness is something to stay in tune with...even when I'm feeling healthy. It's so easy to backslide, and once it starts to happen it can all too quickly feel like being in the midst of an avalanche. I'm working my program again. I love what Al-Anon teaches and I'm going to grab back on.
I like the "Keep Moving Forward" slogan Pushka mentioned.
Thanks for the reminder, Breakingfree. I hope you don't mind if I re-adjust priorites along with you....
Your experience >>is<< the process, this is how it works. I don't know ANYONE who slipped their al-anon pumps on and started walking gracefully. no one. lol
As has already been mentioned, part of your post about the boyfriend concerns me, the part where you believe you need to "commit to moving forward with boyfriend or jump ship"... that reminds me of my black and white, all or nothing thinking, and that is the disease. Fear! Fear! Fear!
Whenever I fear something, it's not guidance from my Higher power. You just met him, it's impossible to know him. I have been dating for 18 months, and I feel like I still don't know him. BEing in a 26-year marriage, I learned that people change. The newness doesn't wear off for a long, long time. It is wise for us to take our time because over time, more shall be revealed. This is the first relationship where I feel so comfortable, it feels nice. There is no reason for me to rush. but in the past, when I felt addicted to my partner, I did rush. I wanted confirmation that this was going to be my salvation. I had the "seal the deal" mentality. my dis-ease again. My disease will eff up my life, and I will make the same mistakes. I must practice something different.
You could put some space around it. Give yourself some space. Some time to relax with all that you're juggling, my busy-ness is also part of my disease and I make terrible decisions when I'm too busy. "In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength."
You're worth your loving attention. My sponsor told me that I needed to have "shut the front door days," she calls it. No obligations to anyone but myself. Wow, is that nice because in a relationship, here I am again, trying to meet someone else's needs and expectations of me. Obligations to the kids, obligations to the employer, obligations at school... do I really need any more obligations? when do I just give myself permission to not have any?
Today I have options, Al-anon taught me I get to have choices. Good for me! I get to choose what FEELS GOOD!
-- Edited by glad lee on Thursday 20th of September 2012 09:02:42 AM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Thanks for the reminder BF, me too recently being super busy with work and family business... it easily happens that I forget to put some time aside for myself. ..and sometimes I try to run and jump, instead of taking one small step after the other. Give yourself a great day, hugs and love
Thanks everyone for the ESH! And yes Glad Lee I did ask for the space I need from him to get all the things I have to get done and he was receptive. I am aware of in my business I did fall back into old thinking patterns and am resetting boundaries for myself. I am stressed to the max with an 8 chapter chemistry test that is not coming naturally out of me at all. So it is time to slow down and take good care of myself. I have a terrible head cold and am just not up to snuff. I went to see my counselor yesterday and that did help me to not feel so overwhelmed. When I am not feeling well and struggling in one of my classes it makes everything seem worse I am learning. So I decided to humble myself with a gratitude list and it's huge. Thanks for opening my thinking in regards to the bf too! Sending you all love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
