The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just stumbled upon this message board, and I'm just curious if anyone can help me, or guide me, and advise me.
My boyfriend abuses roxies, we've had a few relapses within the span of our relationship. I kind of feel like he's addicted to me as well and doesn't want to be alone. It's as if he's trying to be the person he wishes he was around me, instead of who he actually is.
SO, lemme get to the point: is recovery possible, or at the very least a good idea to go through the process, when your world revolves around your significant other?
Basically I feel like he's not doing it for himself, he's doing it for me. His bottom, supposedly was almost losing me.
I don't know if I'm holding him back, or helping. I understand he needs support, but really, what is best?
Sorry if this seems like jibberish, or seeking bad dating advice, I just really don't know what to do at this point.
Let alone, the nodding off after he "stopped" using, but don't worry, he's just "tired". Ugh.
If this has already been covered, please link me, would love to read it.
Aloha Defunk and welcome to the board...The very best place for me to get answers to questions like yours was in the face to face rooms of Al-Anon...the hotline number is in the white pages of your local telephone book. You'll find out where and when we get together in your area and since its free come and just sit and listen.
If he's placing his control on a relationship with you...you're both in trouble. You have clear perception. Come find out where we are at and leave him to his own recovery for a couple of hours. He should be able to straighten out his act without you...just because.
It isn't just you and him in the relationship. Addiction is also in the relationship. Addiction destroys, manipulates, lies, and it always wins unless the person with the addiction truly wants and receives help from qualified people. like my friend Jerry F has told me: addiction doesn't care who it destroys - the addict or the loved one. Take care of you because you need all the strength and clarity of thought you can get in fighting this disease of addiction that is also trying to take you down. It is a serious battle. We who love addicts can become just as sick as they are without any drugs or alcohol. I've been there, it's scarey. Sending support and hoping you make some great contacts at your local alanon.
Hi and welcome to MIP, it sounds like you are in the right place. Face to face meetings are also a great place to go to find your answers. The phone number is under my nickname here. I hope you can stick around and learn some Al-anon tools for yourself. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
