The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't been here for awhile. Life has been relatively peaceful, but I feel a storm a brewing.
AH decided that he wasn't an A many months ago, and being drinking "just a little" again. Here and there. Mostly keeping it undercontrol. Maybe once a month. I've done my best to apply my AlAnon learnings, and just to detach from it all and remember that I, too, have choices.
Now he's coming off the first 2-day bender that he's had since he's been to AA, and subsequently quit. Drank Saturday night, most of Sunday. Drove when he was 'buzzed', something he swore up and down he'd never do again. Late for work today, then blew off the afternoon..... I'm feeling the crazy feelings starting to resurface. I'm trying hard to cope with the full on hatred I am feeling for him. I hate what the alcohol does to him, but I hate who he is when he's drinking.
Hey, tough stuff for sure.... but I guess if we had a dollar for every alcoholic who declared, at some point of their journey, that they were NOT an alcoholic, and were now going to just "control" their drinking going forward - then we would all be rich :)
Bottom line - it's a wonderful time for YOU to dive back into your recovery....
He will either drink (or relapse, or go into complete delusional denial) or he won't..... what are YOU gonna do?
Take care
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
my abf is just coming out of a really big slip lasted for about 6 months. I have a boundary today I will not live with active alcoholism (this is just my boundary).
He went to his mums at first cause he can drink there, then they threw him out he ended up on the streets and hit another big worse rock bottom. It is not nice but it is his journey and where he had to go he has learnt a lot from this, and has gone back to AA and is going to start his steps.
Enough about him what did I do. I detached I did not know what the outcome would be but one thing I have learnt thanks to al anon is that I can not stop him or fix him. Today i protect myself so i do not get as damaged and get even more resentments to work on. It was hard I love him but I love me today as well. So I went to extra meetings , started reaching out to healthy people in recovery. I started a step froup , I am just doing steps 4 and 5. I found me, I am really happier today and stronger in my recovery. He has come home now and is sober and I have learnt to so much and do not feel emeshed anymore I developed my own life while he was gone. I can trly say Hp had this all happen for a reason. Best suggestion I can give you is work your programme develop a relationship with Hp ad yourself reach out for support off people who can give it stop going to the hardware store for bread. hand it all over and whatch what HP does.
Hugs tracy xxxx
-- Edited by Tracy on Tuesday 18th of September 2012 06:18:43 AM
