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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Men in Alanon...
Post Info TOPIC: Men in Alanon...
DavidG


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smileI vowed and declared I would never call myself an oldtimer.

So I decided to call me a long-timer.... I do the adult child

programme inside of Alanon and have done for thirty years

now. Long ago I learned to see the similarities not the differences.

Last year I was fortunate to be in the United States with my wife

and we visited 'Stepping Stones' there in New York. My SO was

always a bit doubtful whether Alanon had had any effect on me.

[Not sure what she was looking for.]

 

But it was an enotional experience for me. A real sense of

coming home. I roamed the grounds and we were shown

round the house. I bought a copy of 'When Love Is not enough'.

in the Wilson garage. Over time I had felt that Lois and Bill

had become my personal mum and dad. Being there I got a big

sense of being a member of the wider family. A very strong sense.

 

I try to live 'one day at a time'. I still have some issues, but get

through them mostly as they come up. A grateful lifetime

member. Part of my life I missed out on a lot... still catching up.

Thanks for the share and chance to chat here.

 

DavidG smile

New Zealand.



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hotrod


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Dear David

Thanks for the inspiring share.  I agree, Lois and Bill's home ," Stepping Stones" is a powerful place.  I found it  filled with serenity and it was certainly   such a rewarding  viisit .

I too am a long time member of alanon  Men in alanon is a good topic  Just remarked to a friend, last week that our Step and Tradition meeting had really grown and now has 9 men as regulars an 12 women. It is great to see men embracing the alanon tools and feeling comfortable enough to grow and recover.

Glad you are here.



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Jerry F


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((((David G)))) another grateful Pacific Islander touch by Lois and Bill.  I got to meet Lois...so how much of a long timer am I?  LOL as she was at one of my early home meetings and I got to do war with AA until my own assessment.  Your title Men in Al-Anon will always give me a knee jerk cause when I first got into program there were not a whole lot of "Men in Al-Anon"; two others that I was told of in my area and I rarely if ever got to see them and then...others started to come out of the alcoholism jungle and for that I am so very grateful to my HP cause I got to sit at the knee of some real masters some of whom I was priviledged to call sponsor even if they had a bits less time.   Bill S. Don'T. Jim. Al. Charlie S...very much Men and gifts from HP.   Mahalo Akua and thanks David for the share.   smile



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DavidG


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Aroha nui, Jerry,

                         and thanks for that connection with this other corner of the Pacific.

I think in my time in Alanon I slowly learned a deep sense of sensivity. In fact I think

I was always deeply sensitive, but the time in meetings built and moulded that.

I am always aware of the state I was in when I first came through the door into

Alanon. I have grown with that in my face to face meeting. My initial reaction

after posting here was; oh my what on earth have i done?

But thanks to you and hotrod for your welcome.

He moemiti ana [a blessing indeed!]

 

:>) David.



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slogan_jim


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Thank You David,

This is an excellent topic. I recall walking into my first meeting. As I walked up the church stairs I was greeted my a wonderfully pleasant woman. After we shook hands and introductions were made, I notice very quickly that I was one of maybe 3 men among 25 women. I theory that sounds amazing, but I was also the only person there under the age of 50. :S

I could have easily let that deter me, but I stuck with it and am thankful I did.

Keep coming back.

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Jerry F


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David if we were not a sensitive lot we might not have gotten so sick or maybe found ourselves in the other room (which I also find myself in).  I'm very sensitive...I mean I just rescued a duck 6 weeks ago and have been working overtime trying to protect it from the family and the family from it.  I am an enabler who drank with his alcoholic addict so that she wouldn't get hurt and would learn to get it right...how sensitive is that errrrr how crazy is that!!?    But now with time in recovery we learn thue proper sensitivity...Sensitive to HP, then our reality and truth and then others when we can and should.

Visited New Zealand once...liked it much...all the population escaping in their boats Saturday morning...what a migration and the room steward telling me..."That is what we do!"  Beautiful sight.    (((hugs))) smile



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DavidG


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slogan_jim wrote:


This is an excellent topic. I recall walking into my first meeting. 
Keep coming back.

Thanks Jim... Apparently there are a few men going to the meeting in a neighbouring town. 

Funny thing, I have gotten a lot older over the years, and I suppose they might be younger.

Me have an assembly coming in our patch later this year. I have wanted to attend their

meeting for some time- plan to go over and invite them over, especally for the afternoon

meeting. Being in Alanon has made me a much better man. Thanks mate.



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DavidG


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Jerry F wrote:

 

all the population escaping in their boats Saturday morning...what a migration and the room steward telling me..."That is what we do!" 

 Yep, I have an old tinny with an even older outboard. I did not always enjoy leisure time- worked in an industry which was full-on over summer.

I was co-sponsored by a member and hubby. Hubby started a steps group and made in an open meetiing and I was able to do my Alanon steps

alongside of his. This gave me a real good grounding. If y'all come back over here it would be gr8 to meet you!  -D.  :>)



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david62


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Welcome David!

I have been coming to Al-Anon meetings for 8 yrs - 5 months now!  I live in Texas and hope someday to get to Stepping Stones as well.  Our Area Delegate went with others on a tour of the place this past year and brought me back a picture of Bill's little cabin where he did so much wonderful work.  Just looking at the picture gives me a feeling of connection to the family, and a sense of peace. 

Not a whole lot of men in Al-Anon here either, but even in 8 yrs I have seen more and more in meetings.

I too have learned so much from my brothers in the AA side of the building as well

Congratulations on coming back for 30 years!  That is an inspiration to me!

Thanks for the share. 

David S.



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Breakingfree


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I was lucky to have a small home group of 8 regular members, half of which were men. I miss everyone in them, but always loved to hear the men be able to be vulnerable and they gave me great insight, especially the double winners. I am sending you love and support!

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DavidG


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Thanks Bfree and Hi DavidS...

When I posted my first message it was as if every bird in every tree

stopped singing... my old fear of abandment and rejection came up

and waited with baited breath...

 

This thread was about men, but not just for men, of course.

Seeing the honest sharing coming up here made me feel more than

welcome, and at home  aww



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