The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have no idea what to do. My husband is an alcoholic. He was a drinker when we married 21 years ago, but everyone we knew drank then. I grew up and grew out of it but he didn't. Around 15 years ago he quit and stayed sober for 10 years. Then 5 years ago he started up again. It has been hell. He had his own business which stopped bringing in money about 4 years ago. I finally convinced him that he needed to get a job and in the last 3 months he has had through 2 jobs. He had all kinds of problems with the first job but I told him he couldn't quit until he had something else. He found another job and quit the first one. Unfortunately, he had a couple of weeks of time off between jobs. He spent that time drinking. He started his new job and things seemed to be going really well. He even managed to stay sober for the first couple of weeks. Now, suddenly, this past week he has been drunk every day. I'm not even sure if he still has his job or not. I'm getting a different story every time I ask him about it. I haven't talked to him sober in well over a week. He was supposed to work until 5:00 today and he came home a little after 6:00 just smashed. Right now he is semi-passed out on the couch. I'm just hoping he stays that way for the rest of the night. If he even tries to get up and move around he's going to hurt himself. I don't know how much more of this I can take!!! I can't afford to leave him. We are so far in debt. My wages are being garnished and it seems we owe everyone money. I am so ashamed. How did I ever let it get this bad? I know that if he can stop drinking we can get our lives back on track. I love him and he is such a great guy when he is not drinking. When he wasn't drinking, he was doing so well at his new job. I just can't understand why he is doing this. What can I do???
I am glad that you found our site and had the courage to share . I can truly identify with where you find yourself and the feelings that you expressed.
Alanon is a fellowship of people who have lived or live with the problem of alcoholism We can all identify with where you are and understand as few others can. I urge you to check out the alanon Face to Face meetings in your community They can be located by calling the alanon inter group office listed in the white pages.
We believe that alcoholism is a disease over which we are powerless. Attending al anon meetings helps us break the isolation caused by living with this disease and gives us new and constructive tools so we can recover from the devastating effects of living with this disease.
I would get to an alanon meeting sooner rather than later. The statements you are making are pretty common for someone just coming in the program. You are not alone. None of the disease makes sense. It's an addiction and it's very powerful. If flies in the face of what makes sense. It's not you and there's not a lot that you can do other than plan for yourself and invest in your own health and growth aside from him. Prayers for you serenity and hope you get to a meeting soon! Do not feel ashamed. It's not that "you let this go on." You didn't plan this. You had no way of knowing this would happen. He is the one with the disease of alcohlism and that would have happened regardless of you. His recovery is either going to happen or not independent of you also.
