The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have not been to many F@F meetings. I was to emotional in the beginning to deal with the pain and embarrased when I would start crying. I wanted to get the focus of of him and on me before I started this, however I have been toying with the sheets and know where I feel I need to concentrate. I feel stronger now, thru this site, books and other websites and have been working on a 4th step on my own with the information below and the ALanon workbook. I'm still not comfortable asking someone to sponsor me since I have not been to enough meetings to find that comfort level and I have found a 4th stepper meeting in my area that I will attend on Wed. Has anyone attended meetings dedicated to this step? What are they like? How long did it take you to find a sponsor?
Aloha JJ...when I found out there were no "sposed tos" in the program I was elated cause I'm naturally oppositional definant and at that time very untrusting so I went for the slogans Easy Does It and Take What You Like And Leave The Rest like a duck to water. I did go to lots and lots of meetings just to listen and cater to my fear of really getting involved...so it took me a long time (about 5 years) to really start on step 4 and the the rest of them. Instead of working the program as suggested I did it as I usually did things...procrastinated and delayed however once the consequences of doing the 4th step started to happen I was hooked cause this is where I found out that by changing me life gets much better as they were promising. I toyed with the sponsorship suggestion...men on men and women on women and my first sponsor a woman fired me...LOL really?? fired me!!?? I'll show her and got a male sponsor then I found out it works when you work it and stayed close to my sponsor. I've done 6 4th steps...each one more searching, fearless and moral. Boy did I need and alcoholic/addict to make me look good. I became a good follower of suggestions and membership who had the successes I wanted and I still am. It makes up for all of the ESH I would never get from my alcoholic family of orgin and for that I am grateful. MIP is a daily read for me. I get to come panning for gold here. LOL. Keep coming back. If your way doesn't work as well as you need...try the program as suggested. ((((hugs))))
I have and still do attend a 4ths Step meeting . We work from either the Paths to Recovery or the alanon Blueprint for Progress.
Each week we read on the next topic in the book and then each shares his own ESH on the reading or another issue he has dicovered while looking iwthin.
It has helped me to learn how to be honest, admit my faults without thinking I am terrible and I grow in program.
'Good luck on yur search for a sponser Possibly you will find one at ths meeting.
