Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> feeling so drained from not being able to voice myself.
Post Info TOPIC: feeling so drained from not being able to voice myself.
silent


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 80
Date:
feeling so drained from not being able to voice myself.
Permalink  

my a mother after 2 yrs of haveing nothing to do with me is now in much need to use me agin,well she needs a haircut my a wants me to over to her house to cut her hair and she will pay me,ugh no this i dont want to do at all its not worth it to me but i havent the guts to even answer my a ph. calls,cause i dont know how to tell him no i dont want to cut yur moms hair or be around her ,not wanting to sound mean about it but i rather not be around her period.but i havent the guts to tell the ole hag no. thanks for allowing me to vent a bit but was much needed.....hugs silent,and yers i do need the esh,i dont know why i freeeze up on my a and his mom.



__________________
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Silent

Being afraid to express our true feelings  is a real hardship in dealing with our loved ones and friends.  If we are to be true partners it is important for us to be able to be honest and say how we feel without being mean.  If you are unable to cut his mom's hair just say that  you are sorry you cannot do it.  If he persists just keep repeating the same statement and  suggest that he take her to a beauty shop. 

Stay focused on yourself 



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

My ex ah of course wanted me to go to his mothers for holidays. After one time of being ignored, then heard what they said about me later was enough.

So I did what I do, I do not allow my dearest friend, "me" be around toxic people I don't care who they are.

Part of our program is to take care of ourselves, loving the self you have, treating her preciously. It is standing up for ourselves without sounding mean to someone else we love.

My thought was, I don't feel comfortable doing that. Please make other arrangements. If he cares about you, he will take care of it on his own.

We really do have to teach others how to treat us. Saying no is not a negative thing! I just said, no but you go, I will enjoy my alone time. they are adults, they can take it how they choose.

Someone else might want me to do something all day but when I say no thank you that is that. I have this thing about

being somewhere I don't want to be. So I don't torture myself and do it.

Remember,"To Thine Own Self be True."    love, debilyn



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
silent


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 80
Date:
Permalink  

thank you ,hotrod and deblyn for such inspireing words of wisdom agin,just what i needed to hear.y'all r all sp precious to me,ill need to write this down for sure. hugs ....silent

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> feeling so drained from not being able to voice myself.