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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Called the court today...
Post Info TOPIC: Called the court today...
Inuyami


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Called the court today...
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Yesterday I battled with the choice on weather or not I should call my county court house to begin the paper work for a divorce. But as the title spoils, I made the final decision today. Dispite my annitial re-action to put of my choice until he got 'better', as of last night my mind has been made up. I cannot put up with my AH's behaviour any longer! It's been four days since the seperation and any (of the very little) contact has been initiated by me. I COULDN'T BE ANY MORE ANGRY! He's always been like that, weather it's due to the drink or not. I cannot stand how I am just a side not in his life. Through our 3.5 year relationship he's never been overly romantic and the cuddling and intamacy grew less and less with each month it seemed. Now that he's physically left bruises and scratches on me I must walk away for my own safty.

 Everytime I talk to him now I get so flustered and confused. I lose my voice and I stutter through what I'm trying to say. My heart shakes and I feel like I should appologise for all of this even though I know I need to move on. Since I called the court house my stomach has unknotted and I've actually be able to eat! I felt so free today knowing I wouldn't be tied down by someone who only really used me as a free ride through life (I was the only one working so I had to pay his college loans, ebay fees, bills, etc). I don't want this good feeling to end but I know it will when I present him with the papers.

So here is my question: When I confront my AH with the papers, how can I make sure the guilt I feel doesn't over power my final choice?

 

Oh and I'm going to my first Al-anon face to face on wednesday. I'm excited for that!



-- Edited by Inuyami on Friday 7th of September 2012 09:55:15 PM

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Weather by irony or fate, this Al-anon site came into my life when I needed it the most, hours before I even knew I would need it this much. I thank you ALL for your kind words, inspiring stories, and support!

~Inuyami
ilovedogs


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Can't you have the court deliver the papers? As for guilt, I know it's tough and it's just going to take a lot of resolve on your part to remember why you're doing this in the first place. You are angry and he physically abused you. That should be enough to stand on, quite frankly. You don't need to explain yourself, either. Lifting you up today in my thoughts and prayers! Great job on going to Al Anon, too, I think you'll really enjoy it but if you don't just try to find another meeting. Each meeting has it's own flair/flavor, so to speak.

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Struggling to find me......
Debilyn


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PLEASE do not take him papers on your own! That is so dangerous. You can pay the sheriff or police dept to do it. In oregon it is $25 or so.

Make sure you have copies. Or meet in a public place like a restaurant. please!

Ok lets work on that guilt. did you put a funnel in his mouth and dump in alcohol? Did you hypnotise him to scratch you and abuse you more physically?

Did you say a vow you would allow him to do damage to you?

I invite you to look at what you believe you feel guilty for. To me you seem like a very, very strong woman who is brave anc couragious enough to take care of herself and get out of this very dangerous situation!

We have the right to decide who we want in our life, we owe no one anything who abuses us. What kept me from feeling guilty or caring anymore was,I told myself the truth, he does not love me.

Keep us updated please! I am very concerned about your safety. You may want to consider a restraining order too. Protect you. sincerely,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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