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I'm so hurt and angry with my a/a daughter, her 7y.o. daughter has been living with her dad for almost 2yrs. now because she was to lazy to get up and take her to school. 2 wks ago she let her 17y.o. go live with them (step-father) 4 1/2hrs. away. He wanted to go, and has a good relationship with his step-father, I didn't think it was a good idea, larger city more crime. Step father is struggling financially, but said he could handle it. My daughter is refusing to give him her sons ss check he gets due to a learning disability. Step father said he would manage without it, my grandson said "granma please don't say anything to mom about it, than she won't let me go"
My daughter and her young bf lives on his check, food stamps and sec. 8 housing. When I told my SIL the check should be coming to him, he jokingly asked me if I got the check when he stayed with me? We knew the answer was no. I just never had the courage to call and report it and I just he doesn't either. I hope we don't get into trouble for not reporting it. He will be 18 in a few months, I guess it will be evaluated then. I need prayer for compassion and love right now, I hate this disease, I hate I married her father, he gave me 2 a/a kids.
Gettingitright!
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
I share your frustration and your desire for compassion. I have a 19-year old a/a daughter (thankfully she has no children...yet?), but she is homeless, refuses to work, and is facing criminal charges. Our relationship is so strained right now b/c she says I don't "support" her (I guess the 30-day rehab, month of sober living, numerous doctor bills, court fees and anti-depressants don't count? Not to mention 20 years of love, guidance, etc.).
I'm working my Al-Anon program hard right now, trying to build a stronger relationship with my HP so that I can trust turning all of this over to him. In the meantime, I am keeping my distance form my daughter b/c every time we talk it goes badly, and I end up with a stomach ache and nightmares.
Last night I made my first God Box, and I wrote down all the things over which I have no control - the things I need to Accept - and I placed those strips of paper in that physical box. Those items are my HP's to take care of. I'm hoping this physical act helps my mental stress...we'll see?
In the meantime, I agree with you that I need to focus on having compassion for my daughter, as she, too, inherited this awful disease from my ex, her father. As long as she's alive, there's hope...
I don't have teen children right now (mine are young). But I do sympathize with what you are feeling. Hugs to you. Many hugs. Like Mini said. Detach with love and take care of yourself.
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"It's impossible said pride. Its risky said experience. Its pointless said reason. Give it a try whispered the heart - Anonymous (via Tad)
Thank you both for your encouragement and support, I went to 2 f/f meetings this wk. I'm working my program as best as I can. I'm learning to mind my own business. I get off track when I allow myself to think of the way I want things to be or comparing my life to others. I'm learning to surrender and let go and trying not to let the negitive stuff take over. Life is good my sponsor just called, and we are going out to breakfast.
With love!
Gettingitright!!
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
