The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I recently took the step of getting a sponsor. It's a step that I feel is imporant in recovery. I asked them about 3 weeks ago after I had spoken at an open meeting and they agreed. I saw them at a meeting about 2 weeks later and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed. I shared so much about my life. It was quite liberating. My sponsor felt that maybe I was to shy to approach them about any issues or that I felt it was up to the sponsor to initiate. I advised that I didn't want to be a bother and wanted to remain low-maintenance. They advised that I am not imposing and that if they are busy they will tell me.
Ever since, I have been phoning them what seems like daily because the alcoholic is drinking. We talk for about 5-10 minutes and they are very helpful. However, I cant shake this 'I can do it all on my own' mentality. I dont want to annoy this person so much that they decide I am to much to handle. Which brings me into my question;
How often do you call your sponsor? Are the frequency of my calls appropriate/normal?
I have found I do what is necessary sometimes it's more and sometimes less. My sponsor is one of my closest friends and biggest advocates and cheerlearders. We laugh, cry and it's just not all about me. There is an exchange that happens and it's no different than a close friendship.
Sometimes especially in the beginning you need more and then sometimes you don't, just allow it to ebb and flow. If it's an issue trust me they will say something. I have had moments that my sponsor and I are able to talk and then sometimes where she says hey .. I'm busy let me call you back.
It's all good though, because sometimes I need to work things out myself during that time and I know better what I need from her during those difficult times.
I hope that helps .. trust me you aren't being a bother. This is why they said yes, just get in there and do your step work and watch the magic unfold.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I think my disease wants me to believe I can do it on my own. That way, I'll keep doing what I've always done because it's all I know.
Sponsorship is one of my FAVORITE tools of recovery, not just having a sponsor but also being one. In early recovery, I, too, was afraid of being a bother, I held a belief that all my problems were a downer to others (they certainly were for me!! haha) so I'd try to "get over it" on my own before I called to ask for help. This could take days. My sponsor told me how foolish that was because our sick mind can never cure our sick mind. And my Higher power has given me the gift of a sponsor, it is my responsibility to accept the gift. I can't do it myself because I am too emotionally attached to my problems and I lose perspective, so I fail to see the solution, my sponsor doesn't have the emotional attachment to my problems, so she can see clearly where I'm at in the steps.
I absolutely love when my sponsees call, we are BOTH growing together. I suggest that you phone whenever you feel your life becoming unmanageable in early recovery. What did that look like for me in early recovery? several times a day. no kidding.
Today, I call once a week minimum to stay connected, we walk this journey together and we learn from each other. And when they can't answer, I either work down the phone list, or I go direct with Higher power, I get out in nature because sun and fresh air are like Higher power's soothing medicine to me. Sponsors return the call when they can, and I always assume the time they call is the BETTER time.
I applaud YOU for taking the program suggestion of sponsorship! Yea!!! for both you and your sponsor ((hugs))
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I am so very happy that you have chosen a sponsor and are calling. I do believe that the frequency of calls is up to each individual .
I have been in program many years and call my sponsor about once a week. I have sponsees that call each morning to connect and start the day others once a week. The relationship with a sponsor is so very special and filled with unconditional love. Trust it.
Your sponsor has reassured you that if he cannot talk he will tell you. Trust him and take care of yourself
Mine started off pretty structured. First 30 days she asked me to call her every day at a set time. Then we whittled it down to twice a week at a set time and now we're down to once a week at an agreed time. But she is always, always available for a phone call at any time. Life doesn't happen on schedule.
I used to call atleast once a day when I was in crisis and now I call once a week just to check in and have had the same sponsor for almost 2 years. I hope this helps.
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I call about once a week unless I am in crisis mode and then it may be 2 or 3 times a week. She has a full time job and works about an hour from her home so I know her schedule and limitations. She is also sometimes available for texting during the day at work in case I just need to vent or need to set up a face to face meeting with her.
