The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok, new 1st post.
I'm 33. Grew up with alcoholic mother. I've been trying to break the cycle. I have been to therapy. I'm happily married and have three small children. I've never gotten into Al-non but I want desperately to understand and be able to cope with this problem. I want my children to have what I didn't.
So my mother has been on a bender lately. Mean, nasty and drunk. On the day we were going to celebrate my father's 60th birthday I talked with my mom on the phone(11 am Sunday) she was slurring her words and not making much sense. Ok, had to scrape the b-day plans. My kids were upset. They are 5,5 (twins) and 4. My retarded autistic sister had spent the night with me and now I had to explain to her that she couldn't go home as well.
It's been two weeks. My husband wants her out of the kids life until she's sober. I think this is probably the best way to keep my children safe from her crazy destructive behavior but it breaks my heart.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm new to placing boundaries and dealing with this. Mostly I've tried to be distant (lived away). Years of therapy have helped me to have some self-esteem but I'm scared and could really use some help from people who have been there.
Thanks
Anxioussockmonkey
Aloha Anxious...only one of the things to do is what you haven't done and if your husband is supportive get him to go with you. The suggestion is go to the white pages of your local telephone book and look up the hotline number for Al-Anon. Call it and if you get a live voice GREAT!! if not you should hear the times and places we get together in your area. It's free and open and has lots of information and an hour of personal sharing from the fellowship (if they wish...not mandatory) on how they are working at and what is working for being involved in someone elses drinking or alcoholic personalities. I can only speak for me and the program, when I found it and got in, worked like nothing else I've ever tried. Next thing you do is get to the first meeting you can get to and sit down and listen with an open mind. Next get literature...they should present you with a free newcomers packet and there's more there if you want mostly at cost. Just a note...you are not alone; including most of the MIP fellowship, Al-Anon is in about every country on this planet. Alcoholism has no prejudices and affects everyone it comes into contact with. It is not cureable and can only be arrested by total abstinence. It is progressive and if not arrested will arrive at insanity and/or death. You're in the insanity stage; Mom and family. This disease is thousands of years old. Go...get help. Keep coming back here also. ((((hugs))))
Omg its like i reading the story about me. I (guiltytwin, using the account of my sis, because i'm not at home) I'am 31 and i have a alcohol addicted mom and dad. My dad is doing really bad and is in the hospital. My mom has gone crazy (just posted a topic) she is calling me 30 times a night, calling me really bad things because i refused to sleep next to her in the bed my dad almost died last week. I don't have kids of my own yet (also because of the problems with my parents) i have 3 stephkids who they (after 4 years still haven't met) I also moved a way (2 hrs from my parents). I am dealing with a huge amount of guilt but i realize i have to live MY life. I don't have any advice for you (sorry for that) but i can relate. I keep you in my prayers!
PS: jerry mentioned that al anon is about in every country on the planet, thats true. My and my sis are dutch and finding so much support here. The dutch al anon doesn't have forum (as far as we know)
