So, AH and I went to couseling.  This therapist is a recovering alcoholic, 30 years sober.  He wanted me to place behavioral requests upon AH to prove that I can trust that he's not drinking now.  He asked me what I wanted to see happen so that I can start trusting again and he kept pushing me to give an answer.  So, I finally broke and said that I'd love to see AH go to AA and do weekly counseling sessions.  I now that, in reality, this is pointless.  Even if AH went to these things and met these so-called requirements, it doesn't change the fact that he'd just be checking off little boxes of things I want him to do.  Maybe he'd pick something up in a meeting but he's so dang stubborn he'd probably rip it apart.  He rips every sermon at church apart and even rips apart his best friends behind their backs.  Not sure he'd really get much out of meetings unless his heart was in it.  

I also asked AH a question:  "If it weren't for son and I, would you continue to drink?"  He said, "Hey I like beer and I'd like to have a beer every once in a while."  Yeah, well this what he said way back 2 years ago when he started drinking again.  It was those exact words to a T.  And, look where we are now.   Anyway, at this point I don't really care whether he drinks, the therapist was making a HUGE deal about it.  I wanted to start working on the trust issues and respect issues and the fact that he's jealous of our son, and the fact that we are on totally different pages spiritually along with having mismatched values.  He referred to our son as "his lordship" and it's become obvious to me that AH has many issues regarding his own child.  Anyway, I'm trying to figure out the motivation from this therapist.  Why would he want me to place these 'behavior' requests on my AH?  Seems so counter intuitive.  Thoughts???  Oh, I'm going back to this therapist tomorrow by myself to get some clarity from him, too, but I wanted to throw it out there.

I understand that counsellor or therp to push limits at times. I know mine has many times. I hated him for it but those were concerning me, my behaviours, my reactions, my choices. Maybe this therapist is missing something? Maybe he is putting his "own" ideas or feelings before what it really should be? I don't know if I am making any sense. I am glad you are def going back and facing the situtation head on to get some answers. Good for you! (you are bullied enough by an A, you certainly don't need to be bullied by a T!) Hugs hugs hugs and more hugs.