The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
to any woman who was abused and/or assaulted by a man in the past. Aloha family...I went to the morning Attitude Adjustment AA meeting (I had the day off) and listen to the female speaker tell her story part of which is very very near and dear to my amends process; that of being violent and a physical, mental and emotional abusive man. Yes alcohol released the restraints against that kind of behavior and when they were released rarely than ever was I controlable with out the help of HP what ever the forms HP appeared in. Rage/adrenalin/testosterone plus alcohol are synergistic and I just didn't deal with anger I had to deal with out of control chaos. I won't go on further. You all know. I was one of the perps and I have worked the steps and amends process continually on it in ways directed by my HP. Mahalo Akua!! Part of that is the ongoing practice of apologizing and not relapsing. I apologize to any and all women I hear speak of the horror of being assaulted and abused by their "trusted" male partners whatever the level. The process keeps me from relapsing into any piece and part of this disease. No my amends isn't coming from the original perp and it is necessary for the spirit of the victim who often self blames and believes that this is the way it is suppose to be...submissive (barf). From the center of my soul...the person who now knows that "violence is never justified" and who was led by his HP to be a teacher and mentor for it...with heartfelt love, humility, guilt and shame. There never was a reason for treating you with violence. (((((hugs)))))
Jerry, That was so kind. It made me cry. I have only been physically abused once, but I am still living with the rages and verbal abuse from time to time. And it just knocks all of the stuffing out of me. If you would find it in your heart to make amends for verbal abuse, if you ever did that, it would mean so much to me. Because I am never going to hear it from my decades dry but certainly not recovered husband. Love you, Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
My abuser was my Father & he can never make amends to me because he is long past. But before he passed away, I forgave him for the abuse because it was the only way I could heal myself and move forward. I know in my heart that he never meant to hurt me, my sister nor my mother - it was the alcohol. Had a great uncle tell me how my G'father used to beat my dad into near unconscienceness...DNA or learned behavior !?!
Jerry, thank you for sharing - I'm proud to know you.
II grew up being abused and married into it and as much as I know now about acceptable behavior and what I will put up with in my life, I have forgiven all my abusers so I can carry on free and living in the now. You work an amazing program Jerry F and you continue to amaze me with how you are paying it forward. When I first found this site I felt so undeserving and you and others helped to love me until I loved myself enough to want it for myself! Thanks so much!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I Am in Total agreement with ((((Breakingfree)))) In that when I Landed here, you was one of the Very 1st to My Rescue...
You have taught me More about Humility, Acceptance, & Love I could never repay you! Your Program, Your Journey & Your Heart Never cease to Amaze Me! Being an ACOA I was around So Many Differant Mind altering abuse, that it All is Very Painful, Yet, I began to come here, and Make F2F Meetings and One by One you all Help Restore Me to someone that can Now Say! I'm Worth MORE... Not Less!
My Afather would get to a state of Drunkeness and Start his Babbling Amends! Tell Me Every Wrong thing he Ever Did, and Cry Like a Baby! I Know my Afather Didn't Just Die From the Disease of Alcohol, He Dead with Many Regrets, Remorse, and Very Little Self Worth! I have since been able to Forgive him for his part in my Upbringing, for he was Raised by (2) Alcholics as well.. Which is Another Reason "I Chose" to Break the Cycle! I know how Crazy I was as A Drunk! ... I've had to make those Amends as well... I'm Very Grateful for You! For your Recovery, Your Journey, Kindness, Caring & Loving Heart, and I KNOW... I Wouldn't have Quit Drinking If it hadn't been for your Gentle Push into Self Worth... So Thank You My Brother...
Forever in My Heart! Prayers to you always
Jozie
PS... Just so ya know We (U & I) are Taking the Harley Out this Weekend! So Ride Free My Brother!
We (U & I) are Taking the Harley Out this Weekend! So Ride Free My Brother! 
