The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
How do I deal with this alcohol problem that is killing me emotionally and financially. One month after I was married my husband was pulled over and jailed for his third DUI. I had no idea he had a record. He ended up getting 2 to 5 years in federal prison. We have been married for 6 yrs. now and it's getting worse. I will just start there. Thanks
You are in the right place. I hope you will consider going to an alanon meeting in your area. It helps break the isolation of thinking that it's only happening in my own house the reality is that it happens in many houses and while the situations may differ slightly the emotions are the same.
Taking that first step into a meeting is a great place to start. You are not alone and it's not going to happen over night. Little by little, day by day the fear, anxiety, worry, anger all of that starts to lift and is replaced by serenity, joy, gratitude, and many more positive things.
Keep coming back, you are worth it and it really does get better. Sometimes it's big giant strides however most of the time it's little baby steps.
Welcome to the boards,
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Get the book Getting them Sober by Toby Rice Drew. I found it a life saver. Go the chat room on this board and hang out there so you are not all alone. Go to regular twice daily meetings here online and try to find a meeting near you.
Loves to you. We are all where you are right now. Seeking for something, someone, somewhere. That place is here. I cannot tell you in the few short days I have found this place. It has been amazing. Hugs and welcome! Do come back! Talk, speak out, come to the online meetings. They are amazing. Every day, twice a day I learn something new. I put it under my belt and I gain new insight. It is not for me to use against my A, or justify my behaviours but it is to grow, learn, and change the way I see things. Stick around, you will be surprised how good you feel in such a short amount of time. Even if its a small feel good...its better then being in a big feel bad!
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"It's impossible said pride. Its risky said experience. Its pointless said reason. Give it a try whispered the heart - Anonymous (via Tad)
Aloha Gingerbread (love that hmmm) part of my ESH (Experience Strength and Hope) was finding out that depression could be described as "anger turned inward". I am a depressive and have been from birth. I believe that the reason for it was because I was born into the disease of alcoholism on both sides of my family including a step-family. The lifetime events not resulting in happiness in part led me to believe that I was not worthy and could not ever be worthy and that made me angry at myself...Anger turned inward...so the definition helped me alot while also becoming a fulltime member of the Al-Anon Family Groups because the program helped me to understand "what was theirs and what was mine" as far as my life went. Learning where I began and where I ended and also the same for "them" led me to self love and the self anger goes away when the self love grows.
Keep coming back...reading...learning...practicing. Go to the white pages of your local telephone book and look up the hot line number for Al-Anon and then of course call for the times and places we get together in your area.
Thanks everyone! Wow! I so badly want to meetings but because he took my car, without my knowledge, and got into an accident I have lost my plate. He wasn't drinking but had the suspended license. They took my handicap license and destroyed it until he pays an $800 fine. Prior to that I had been cancelled by 5 insurance companies because of his record. I had to go to a cash only high priced shady company so I could get my plate. He only works when someone needs his help. Basically, family or friends. I have quit paying his fines and he could care less. He says we can call my daughter (with 3 small children) or his mother (who is taking care of her 96 yr old mother) to take me shopping, dr appts, etc. He has put me into this hole I can't get out of. I live in the house my mother left for me and I can't just walk away from it; but I have deeply thought about it. I will tell his side of the story tomorrow for you to understand both sides.
