The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This could be a very serious complication from drinking. Doctor's are not stupid and know that people are dishonest when it comes drinking.
Going to the Doctor is very frightening for everyone but for an alcoholic is goes against his basic coping tools of Denial and Pretend. He must admit he is feeling poorly , has a problem and submit to a serious of tests. This is hard for us all but very difficult for alcoholics. Pray about it and if you have a family doctor possibly you could call him and discuss the situation.
In my thoughts
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 27th of August 2012 12:56:53 PM
Well Trudy, I dont mean to alarm you, but my XAH ruptured his esophogus and came close to death. He had graduated to Vodka as his main poison.
We werent together, but he called me and said he collapsed and didnt know what was wrong. I called the Paramedics, I could hear them break down his apt. door.
They operated on him and also found 2 ulcers. He got 40 pints of blood. I went to his apt. and it looked like a crime scene. When he woke up, took him 3 days because he was so drunk, he didnt know where he was or what happened. The Drs., the nurses , the hospital went to unmeasurable lengths to save him and he didnt have a clue of what happened.
When he awoke, he signed himself out. Good thing the Dr. called me , as once you sign yourself out, you have to leave. I went to the hospital and told him to lay down and shut the .......up. Because you will die on the way home because your going to walk. There will be no rides from me. This is only one escapade of the Alcoholic X husband, there have been many more close to death experiences.
That was 3 years ago , We have been divorced 5 years. He is still kicking and above ground. He doesnt drink vodka anymore, not if he wants to live. Anyway I dont see him anymore, he does call and we speak and he sounds sober. But he knows my boundary, has to be sober if he wants to talk to me.
Only thing I can say is to turn it all over to your HP, worrying wont change anything. Try and focus on yourself.
Keep coming back, hugs, Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Monday 27th of August 2012 12:58:23 PM
I know I am supposed to mind my own business, but my AH is having troublesome medical issues and refuses to go the doctor. We went to the ER on Saturday because he had been in pain for a week, they determined it wasn't his heart and told him to see a GI doctor. Well, today he is saying he won't go to the doctor, he will just let whatever this pain in his esophogus kill him. He can't eat or swallow water without pain. From what I could find online this is probably a complication of his drinking. Also, how do you guys deal with them in medical sitatuations, when asked 'do you drink" he always answers 'no'! How can they assess him if he lies about his alcohol use? I know I shouldn't care, but he is spiraling downward here and trying to drag me with him. I want to disconnect but share a home with him? I am really lost today. Could use some advice or hear stories from others on this topic. Thank you, ts
It sounds to me like the alcoholic is just trying to believe he can continue to fool everyone. Doctor's are not stupid. Even if he says no, they'll know if he consumes a lot of alcohol.
Maybe he's afraid of what they'll tell him and he'll finally have to face his drinking.
I understand you are in a difficult place. The only thing you can really do is hope his pain gets so severe he'll make that trip to the doctor.
Good question, I don't know how much he drinks because he hides it and won't admit that he drinks. I know, for example, last Monday while I was at work he managed to drink two large bottles of vodka because I found them in the trash the next morning. I guess any alcoholic can say a little or a lot because there is always someone that drinks more or less than them. In my experience they always try and minimize things so they can feel better about themselves.
Bettina, that is my fear, that this is very serious. His drink of choice is vodka as well. He binge drinks so while he does not drink daily, when he does it is fast and it is a lot. I tried briefly this morning to get thim to see the doctor, it started to escalate to something ugly and I backed off. I can't force him and I won't take a verbal beating to only end up at the same result - he won't go. Thank you all for your support, it does help and I know I'm doing the right thing at this point of not begging him to go. He'll go when he is ready (or he won't go and might do even more damage to himself or die) but I can't own that, it's on him. I guess I just needed some reassurance. Thank you all! ts
Its the truth we have to face about this disease. The truth that they could go insane and die from it.
We dont know, I always thougt my XA was going to die, he lived thru a close to death heart attack as his liver enzymes were high and the blood was poisoned. He lived thru falling out of his truck onto a busy highway, where he got a concussion, was beaten up by the police, which left him with fractured ribs. He lived thru falling down a staircase twice, one time knocked unconsciencous. I wasnt living with him at the time, but before the esophogus fiasco, he was drunk and fell down in the street, cracking his head open and bleeding profusely, when a woman called the paramedics, 8 staples in his head. He could have bled to death. We were eating dinner and he passed out right there with him face down in his dinner. He survived vomiting in his sleep and almost choking to death, paramedics saved him that nite. it goes on and on. Ok HP, I get it.
Try to remember this Trudy, they have a HP working for them. We must back off like you did. He is in his HP's hands.
When I was still drinking, my motto was "Gotta die some time anyhow!" I didn't care or have insight into what a destructive and hurtful way of living that was to others. When actually confronted with serious medical issues I tried to just drink till it didn't hurt anymore. Of course now I know that forcing others to watch you commit slow suicide is about the cruelest and most selfish thing you can do.
When an alcoholic gets to that progressed of a level, they often don't care that much about dying. The thing that makes them not care about dying is also the thing that is killing them. So powerful, cunning, and baffling...
