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Well, the police just left with my son. We had a talk (like we've had so many times) this morning about his drinking. I told him again that he was walking on thin ice by continuing to drink in my home after I had told him I would not tolerate it.....my home my rules. Have told him over and over that if he wants to continue to drink, that's his choice but he cannot do it here.
I was in my room watching TV and I had that 6th sense that he was drinking but I didn't see him so was hoping my radar had gone wonkey but then I started hearing screaming, yelling & banging on his bedroom wall.(some kind of hulcinations, I guess.) I pounded on the door but he was too drunk to even respond so I took the action that I had promised him less than 12hrs earlier -- I called the police and had them remove him from the house. He'll spend the nite in the drunk tank and be released in the morning. Per the officers, the courts can't force any type of rehab/counseling on him since he has not committed a crime. They'll turn him loose in the morning.
Hubby isn't happy that I did this and grumbled "I guess we'll have to go pick him up when he's released" -- I told him no, we will not go pick him up...period.
It must have been rough, but you did good, you made a boundary and you stuck to it. Ive never experience having a child that was an alcoholic, but I have lots of women friends that were single parents. That had alcoholic kids. I have a nephew thats an alcoholic, 3 dui's, he was suppose to do jail time, but the California jail system is over crowded and they have a lottery and he picked a lucky number and didnt have to do jail time. But he did spend 6 months cleaning the freeways and he had his car taken away. Had to go by train and be there at 6:00 a.m., I dont think he will be doing that again. He is 39 years old, and still experiencing consequences. Which path will he take. I hope he takes the high road and remains sober.
My friends son. She told him he had to leave the home, as he was drunk & disruptive. He had no car, no job. He left on his bike. There was no comunication for two years. Turns out he went to a sober living home. He graduated from Berkley last year, working on his masters and he of course is clean and sober.
Without the consequences what will motivate them to want to stay sober. You did good. keep posting and working it. My best to you, Bettina
Well, the sun came up as usual but a whole new situation has arisen. Son was on the patio when I woke up. I stopped him from entering the house and boy is he angry. Angry because he had to walk several miles from the police station to home and he does have bad knees from the years of hard construction work so he's hurting besides being just plain mad.
But the new dilema is this; 15 yrs ago we bought our little house and at the time hubby had just become disabled & I was out of work, needed a place to live but couldn't qualify for a mortgage because of the situation. So son bought the house (on paper) and we funded it and have made every payment since. Several years ago, I learned that son (was out of contact with him for a while) had extreme debt including back taxes - out of fear of the house being liened by his creditors/Tax people, we used our power of attorney to file a quit-claim deed putting the house in my name.
In his anger this morning, he informed me that he quashed the quit-claim deed 5 yrs ago because he was going to try and take out a 2nd mtg against the equity (my equity!!). For some reason the loan did not go thru but I am livid that he would even contemplate taking the equity that belongs to me & his disabled father. So I no longer have any legal rights regarding my own house. Wow...just wow.
Don't know what else to say other than I have to sit with this one and spend some quality time with my HP for direction and guidance.
Edited to add: now son tells me he lied about quashing the quit-claim deed and the house is still in my name so that is some confort. But I'm going to verify with the County Recorded's office ------- this disease sucks!!!!!!!!!
-- Edited by Path to Serenity on Monday 27th of August 2012 11:03:34 AM
I can't imagine how hard that was to do. Just what Bettina said x10, nothing changes .. nothing changes. Sending lots of love and support.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Path. You are quickly becoming one of my favourite people here. Courage and Strong I am learning is attainable. I hope to gain the strength that you have. You have taught me so much in such a short amount of time hun. HUGs to you and your family. XXX
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"It's impossible said pride. Its risky said experience. Its pointless said reason. Give it a try whispered the heart - Anonymous (via Tad)
Cunning & Bafflings is def. the Disease we are all trying to over come, and yes... Sounds as tho he is playing his Part well... I Will send Continued prayers for you & hubby, and I too have to say I am VERY PROUD of you for Standing your Grounds, and setting your Boundry's... You did AMAZINGLY WELL with what you had to do...
I have know doubt HP Will carry you thru, for as well ALL know... This too shall pass.. Take care of You & Keep your Chin up. Its not Your Disease its his, so let him own it! Thank you for your Post, You have I'm sure Inspired Many, in your Couragous act of Detaching with Love... Continue your Journey, Just One Moment at a Time...
Path, he is angry because he can't malipluate you anymore. He can't make you or force you to feed his need. You should not feel guilty. Find out exactly where you stand but either way he is trying to back you into a corner and basically said well too bad if you don't do this, I am going to make you pay. This is why I hate any family involvement with money. They always bring it back on the table and suddenly it's hanging over your head (more so when they have this disease).
I will pray for you and keep you deeply in my thoughts. You are doing an incredible job. Amazing! I cannot tell you how proud I am. Hugs you sweetie!
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"It's impossible said pride. Its risky said experience. Its pointless said reason. Give it a try whispered the heart - Anonymous (via Tad)
