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Post Info TOPIC: Am I getting close?


Veteran Member

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Posts: 25
Date:
Am I getting close?


I'm a newbie and have a lot to learn, but I think I may be picking up on some things, thanks to all y'all:

1. I need to concentrate on myself and not on him,

2. Who my AXH dates and what he does is none of my business and he's probably not as happy as I imagine him to be,

3. My life is worth living without him,

4. I should stop creeping on his and his gf's facebook pages, stop listening for news about him, avoid (like the plague) riding by his house, etc.,

5. And someday I may find happiness again.

 

Is that right?

 

 

 

 

 

 



-- Edited by suebama on Friday 24th of August 2012 02:16:42 PM

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Suebama


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1235
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Run it by your sponsor and see what she thinks. I phoned my sponsor daily and she had me make a list of things I was powerless over. The first little spiritual awakening I ever had was when I accepted my powerlessness. my complete. utter. defeat. I cannot change this situation. Powerless. Powerless.

Step one is the bedrock, the foundation for recovery, read all you can about it, and since you've been with the other program, try substituting the word "alcoholism" for your husband, his new relationship, etc. etc..... "I admit I am powerless over ex-husband and my life has become unmanageable." So often, I could see the unmanageability before I could see my powerlessness. See how that works. I suggest you not try to do this without the al-anon tools, the steps, our literature, sponsorship, and meetings ((hugs))



-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 24th of August 2012 02:37:16 PM

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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 755
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Wow, that's a great list. Seems to me you are on the right track, but that's only my opinion. How does it feel to read that? I can tell you *I* feel pretty good reading *your* list LOL!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1036
Date:

Good for you. Why not come off Facebook for a while!

Maresie.



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orchid lover


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 25
Date:

Ok, will do.  Consider me "unfacebooked."



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Suebama


Senior Member

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Posts: 193
Date:

Sounds like a great plan...I may be adopting those ;)

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"It's impossible said pride. Its risky said experience. Its pointless said reason. Give it a try whispered the heart - Anonymous (via Tad)



Veteran Member

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Posts: 90
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Sounds great!! I find my myself obsessing over the what if's. As soon as I start working on me, something happens and I'm back to the drawing board. I was at the bookstore today and picked up Co-dependent no more and see me in it everywehere!! They have an actual workbook to go with the book and it is based on a 12 step process. Went with the book first, but it looks great. I like to approach things like school and workbooks help me see progress. Check it out if you get a chance.

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Moving on to happier days...



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Hi I do love your list and would like to suggest that you replace all the items that you are not going to do with some positive actions.

For example  I will make a gratitude list each day, I will make time for me with a bubble bath and soft music, I will do some mild exercise each day, I will attend an alanon meeting, make an alanon call. etc

All these actions have definately improved my moods each day

You are doing fine.:

 



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 13696
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Hey....Suebama,,,you found my list!!  actually it was my list when I was a newbie also...I didn't have the last item you have because I felt hopeless and not worthy of it.  Of course that changed also.   In support of you and your working our list.   ((((hugs)))) smile



-- Edited by Jerry F on Saturday 25th of August 2012 01:51:18 AM

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Jen


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1242
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Are you getting close? YES! to some needed serenity. When that happened to me, it spurred me on to work the program more and more. I'm excited for you to be at this point. Its not easy, but it is so worth it!

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~Jen~

"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3972
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That is an awesome list and I have done the same with my ex even though he didn't have a gf after I left him and then obsessed baout him. All I can say is being self-focused has made me the healthiest I have ever been and it sounds like an awesome program you are starting out with. Sending you love and support on your journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."

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