The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
it's just so much more than the physical costs, it's the financial, emotional all of it is just so sad to watch someone flush their lives down the drain and the whole time going I'm fine I'm fine .. what do you mean I have issues?
Thank you for this share though .. it reminds me absolutely the right decision came about even though I didn't initialize it. I am grateful it has been made, sad for him, the kids, the family .. not sad that i don't have to participate in what is happening to him.
Hugs P :)
-- Edited by Pushka on Friday 24th of August 2012 12:38:28 PM
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
In a weird way, time has proven me to be right about my ex-A. I have always felt judged by his family...as if I was making up the degree to which his behavior was a problem...and his sisters still insist that he is doing okay when they talk to me.
Then there is reality. He talked to me briefly the other day about his health.
He has NO hair on his lower legs, which is an indicator of poor circulation (he is only 55).
He has high blood pressure.
His liver enzymes are very high, as is his white blood cell count.
He is anemic.
He has chronic ear infections.
He smokes alot of cigs, and god knows how much alcohol he consumes.
BUT he is doing SO much better without me in his life. (says he)
Part of me wants to contact and convince his sisters that I am the one in the right...as these facts prove!
Silly, but something I would try to do in a previous time, before Al-anon.
So I put it here instead. I may be right, but how sad is this disease, for him, for his boys, and for his family.
You may be right, but.... do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
After my divorce, my ex-AH's entire family branded me the evil one, I can only imagine what he had told them. Yet, if the tables were reversed, I would defend my brother too, it's just human. They think what they think. For me to recover, I have to remember it's none of my business what ANYONE thinks, I don't need to put energy into making things "right" or prove anything. When we divorced, I kept repeating, "I release him to the universe....."
My daughter is trying to pick up where I left off in caring for him, especially with exercise and diet. I responded, "good luck with that, he is going to do what he is going to do." It's not impossible that she will hit a bottom with it all some day, like I did. Should that happen, al-anon will be there for her also.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I had family members that criticized me for practicing Touch Love with my Father so I told them (point blank) that if they thought I was so mean then maybe they should book a flight and come here to help out or better yet, let Dad come live with them. ------- they shut up real fast and I never heard another word out of them.
